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Snap snap! If you’re not binge-watching Tim Burton’s Wednesday on Netflix, it’s never too late to start. Otherwise, how else would you know which Wednesday character resembles your zodiac sign? Based on the spooky and wildly eccentric comedy, The Addams Family is the *literal* antithesis of the white-picket-fenced American home. Everything from Gomez and Morticia’s gothic romance to Wednesday and Pugsley’s rare fascination with dynamite is a perfect depiction (fictionally speaking) of what it means to be unapologetically true to yourself.
The 1991 supernatural black comedy film was my personal favorite growing up and the fact that the legendary Wednesday Addams is back to grace the silver screen is good news all around. Portrayed by Jenna Ortega, this deliciously sleuthing series is action-packed with hysterical quirks and unforgettable moments such as Wednesday’s iconic (now gone viral) “Goo Goo Muck” dance sequence, and wild plot twists you would never have imagined. Calling all outcasts! In case you haven’t heard the news, Nevermore Academy is accepting applications—werewolves, vampires, sirens, gorgons… you know, the usual.
The queen of our *black* hearts is off to high-school, so follow me as we take a trip to the smalltown of Jericho, where we will wander the very cryptic halls of Nevermore Academy, home to renowned alumni Edgar Allan Poe and the ravishing Addams matriarch. No Normies allowed.
The Wednesday Character That Matches Your Zodiac Sign
Aries: You’re Bianca Barclay
In addition to being the Nightshade Society’s beloved leader, you’re also Nevermore’s “Queen Bee.” It’s hard to be humble when you’re the class valedictorian, and reigning champion of the Poe Cup. Although, when you’re not slaying your victims and classmates with your dazzling swordsmanship, you’re prying on your loverboy’s thoughts and feelings… you know, in case there’s any “real competition.”
Taurus: You’re Morticia Addams
Despite the polarizing effects of your gothic glamour, your beauty is something out of this world. You’re one of Nevermore Academy’s very own, and an OG member of the Nightshades Society, but your role as a mother and devoted wife take precedence. In other words, mortifying Wednesday with your unapologetic public displays of affection with Gomez are part of your love language, and you’re committed.
Gemini: You’re Ms. Marilyn Thornhill
You may not be normal enough for the normies, or odd enough for the outcasts, but you’re still a mastermind. You walk the line between both worlds, and somehow manage to be incredibly discreet in the process. A walking plethora of wisdom and fun facts, your colorful wardrobe and sweet disposition are merely part of your revenge scheme. Your secret duality makes your character all the more riveting.
Cancer: You’re Larissa Weems
It takes a significant amount of compassion to devote your entire world to the students, and faculty of Nevermore. Morticia Addams’ former roomie and a talented shapeshifter, you’re passionate about maintaining a sanctuary for outcasts as principal. And though your tough shell is more than often misunderstood, it’s never stopped you from protecting the reputation of your school.
Leo: You’re Enid Sinclair
“This kitty’s got claws, and I’m not afraid to use them.” Despite being a late-bloomer amongst your pack of werewolves, your colorful and cheerful personality makes you stand out more than you realize. You’re Nevermore’s very own gossip column, and your happy-go-lucky disposition is so contagious it hurts (literally). Perhaps a bit too sunny for Wednesday’s liking, but not for long.
Virgo: You’re “Thing”
Mischievous, mercurial and a devoted servant to the Addams Family, your pristine services are equally as formidable as your ability to sign language at lightning speed. You’re not just a hand, but instead a dear family member who never ceases to appear at the right time. When you’re not fetching and lighting Gomez’s cigars, you’re keeping close watch via Wednesday’s black backpack.
Libra: You’re Gomez Addams
Your undying love for Morticia Addams may have started back at Nevermore Academy, but your intoxicating and smothering romance is still going strong. And though many still wonder about that night at the Raven dance—when you took the weapon and blame for your beloved Tish—there isn’t anything you wouldn’t do for love.
Scorpio: You’re Tyler (Hyde) Gaplin
Transformation is your greatest superpower, and you’re still learning how to tame your darkside. In addition to the pressures that come with being the son of a Sheriff, you also tend to repress the tougher aspects of your early experiences. You’re the typical boy next door, or so we think. Leave it to Wednesday to solve this conundrum… and well, the espresso machine, of course.
Sagittarius: You’re Eugene Otinger
You’re the bee’s knees, and I’m not just referring to your fascination with the ancient art of beekeeping. A quirkier version of Wednesday’s younger sibling, you’re always down for an adventure, even if that means scoping out the monster cave yourself. Also, your love for Enid Sinclair may be one-sided, but your relentless optimism makes it all the more possible.
Capricorn: You’re Lurch
You’re undoubtedly loyal to your work and employers, which makes you one of the Addams’ very own. And while you’re not the most enthusiastic butler, there’s a lot more to your lugubrious demeanor than meets the eye. Your above-average height and Frankenstein groans speak for themselves, literally.
Aquarius: You’re Wednesday Addams
Although you stand firm when you say, “social media is a soul sucking void of meaningless affirmation,” your unique eccentricities stand out amongst your classmates at Nevermore Academy, making you an entire *MOOD* all on your own. Shocking and spontaneous, your psychic visions shake up your world, resembling that of your ruling planet Uranus. And though using your peers as props to catch the Hyde seems selfish, you’ll stop at nothing to see the truth.
Pisces: You’re Xavier Thorpe
Slightly moody with a charismatic aura, everything from your artistic gifts to your precognitive dreaming abilities adds to your mystery and magnetic appeal. There’s no denying your emotions when you catch feelings for someone, even if that means having to secretly escape through artworks and visuals that resemble your love interest. You make it all come to life either way.