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The latest “it” teen lifestyle trend—named after the popular photo editing app VSCO that’s been serving Instagram with just the most aesthetic of aesthetic ‘grams—is taking over the internet, and we just can’t take it anymore. It’s everywhere. So naturally, we had to ask: Which VSCO girl accessory are you, according to your zodiac sign? (Which, honestly, is a very natural thought to have following being introduced to a concept that just simply befuddles you.)
If you don’t know what a VSCO girl is, then good for you because that means you aren’t wasting your entire life on the internet, looking for the sweet nectar of new content! But if you do know what a VSCO girl is, then, well, we can’t blame you. But anyways, let’s talk about me, a Gemini, more. I was in the airport the other day, looking like something that crawled out from under a drawbridge, when I saw two high school girls with a base tan that would make Jergens Natural Glow WEEP. The best part was that these girls were dressed almost identically in a very specific way: gigantic hoodies that covered their shorts, making passersby wonder if they had forgotten their pants; white shoes that matched their beautiful orthodontia; and an armful of scrunchies of various textures. What was this strange magic? A mysterious wind blew, invisible wind chimes clinked and the world froze. I had to know—what is this strange new fashion/lifestyle/whatever that the youth are seeking to emulate? These girls walked like they knew something that I didn’t, and I had to know more.
And then I found it, the answer I had been so desperately seeking. These were VSCO girls, or Instagram filters come-to-life, like that movie “Life-Size,” starring Tyra Banks. Also known as “2019 Tumblr girls,” this aesthetic trend has taken on a life of its own and is claiming as many followers and devotees as possible. No one is safe from the glamour and effortless beach waves of a VSCO girl.
Which prompts me to think—what’s next? Are there VSCO boys out there? Or nonbinary and/or curvy VSCO people? And why not? See, I have questions that lead to more questions. Maybe I should just be quiet and take more pictures of pretty things. (Will update you on that once I learn how not to look putrid in photos.)
But nonetheless, here we go: each zodiac sign as a VSCO girl accessory.
Aries – Sour Candy
Aries is sour candy, because they pack a punch and cannot be ignored. Preferably Trolli brand, because VSCO girls are not off-brand, thanks. These not only provide a crucial prop for any and all photoshoots, they also prove that you are FUN-LOVING and ENTHUSIASTIC about life. Peach rings and brightly colored candy photographs best, but sour gummy worms and sour punch straws reign supreme.
Taurus – Neon Nails
Taurus is obvi neon nails. Do not be a fool—your nails MUST be white or neon. Shape and style (acrylic or gel) can be individualized to suit the user, but color is non-negotiable. For extra points, pair your manicure with delicate rings that look like they could break at any moment. Like Taurus, these nails are associated with material pleasure and self-care. Plus, they’re pretty!
Gemini – Eyelash Extensions
Is there anything more dramatic than a fresh set of eyelash extensions? Yes, Gemini’s. These little glue-on hairs make everyone look like their best self, and their flashiness is socially acceptable (not unlike a Gemini personality). These look best with a fresh tan and on winners of the genetic lottery.
Cancer – Oversized Pastel Hoodie
Possibly the comfiest aspect of a VSCO girl, oversized hoodies (preferably in pastel hues) suit Cancer best of all. Like the water sign, these sweatshirts are soft and comfortable, invoking a deep, calming feeling of being among friends. Bonus points if these hoodies a) are collegiate, b) mention a summer camp or beach, or c) have a zany logo or whatever.
Leo – Blindingly White Teeth
Whitening toothpaste is a must, although I guess depending on the filter, normal people teeth might suffice. And who loves the spotlight more than Leo? They know how to work any and every angle—just like the huge, cheesy grins that VSCO girls are known for. Personally, I think it’s dope that people are smiling again in pictures. That #sadgrl look just made everyone look like they took themselves way too seriously.
Virgo – Scrunchie
Ah, but how can you be a VSCO girl without a scrunchie? Possibly the most important accessory, a scrunchie is cute as well as practical—hello, Virgo! Any color, texture, or any pattern is fine. You can wear scrunchies in your hair, but it’s also acceptable (nay, encouraged) to wear them on your wrist like fine jewelry. Pro tip: Pink and white velvet scrunchies are always well-received.
Libra – Kanken Backpack
The charm of a Kanken backpack can only match that of Libra, well known for their artistic flair and creativity. Libras are easy on the eyes and self-sufficient AF. And so are Kankens! If you wanna go that extra mile, cover that shit with pins and buttons, preferably from bands you like or cute lil avocados or whatever.
Scorpio – Iced Coffee With Alternative Milk
Scorpio is a perfect fit for iced coffee, featuring any type of alternative milk (oat, coconut, or almond over soy, though). Iced coffee is the drink of choice for VSCO girls. Like Scorpio, it provides power and energy and, if you’re lucky, a keen sense of focus with which to be “productive” and serve our capitalist overlords.
Sagittarius – Shell Necklace
A shell necklace or a delicate choker is a surefire way to establish your dominance in a VSCO world. Sagittarius knows all about how to make a statement, and this accessory proclaims a love of little details and memories of adventure. Like Sagittarius, a shell necklace is more than the sum of its parts—it makes the whole look work.
Capricorn – C1 or C7 VSCO Filter
What works harder for a VSCO girl than her C1 or C7 VSCO filter? Nothing, except maybe diligent Capricorn. This is the penultimate step in a VSCO girl’s life—editing the picture(s). We could only trust the power and analytical mind of a Capricorn to fulfill this most auspicious step. All accessories are moot if the picture doesn’t invoke that dopamine rush of a well-executed ‘gram that proves you are the ultimate VSCO girl supreme.
Aquarius – White Crocs
Okay, Birkenstocks are also acceptable, but (white, or neon pink if you really want to push the envelope here) Crocs are truly where it’s at for footwear. And Aquarius, a humanitarian sign who prizes originality and creativity, is the perfect sole mate. (Get it? I made a foot joke. Watch out, Tarantino.) I am VERY happy that Crocs are making a comeback and that Birks are back in style. Comfortable footwear is very now, and I love me a healthy set of metatarsals.
Pisces – Hydroflask
Never without it, a Hydroflask is a VSCO girl’s crowning achievement. As an emotional water sign, Pisces understands the need to bring the comfort of H20 wherever a VSCO girl’s Jeep may lead her. Hydroflasks can be any color, but a variety of stickers are non-negotiable. This item must be visible in every picture, and a dent or two will lend you a sharp edge on your competitors. Also, this accessory doubles as a weapon or diversion, so that’s pretty cool, too.