Each Zodiac Sign As the Hilarious Therapist Meme

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Each Zodiac Sign As the Hilarious Therapist Meme
Photo: Candace Napier Ross.

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I’m the ripe, old age of 27, so I don’t understand memes very well—but zodiac signs as the therapist meme is something I can get behind. Which makes sense, given my self-reflective nature and tendency to change absolutely nothing about myself when blatantly confronted with my flaws at close range.

If you’re unaware of the therapist meme, might I direct you to nearly any meme account on Instagram for reference. What a great, highly self-aware, relatable, and relevant new meme to pop up for Millennials and Gen Z to laugh at to and from their therapy appointments? To which I proudly throw my fist in the air and scream, “HECK YEAH!”

I think it’s funny (in a sad way) that people constantly cite seeking a therapist for guidance as a red flag. Like, “They’re such a mess. They’re in THERAPY.” If anything, that’s a GOOD sign. That’s a person who admits they need help, are consistently seeking it, and are (hopefully) upfront about how much they value their wellness and mental health. If anything, I believe people who don’t go to therapy are more of an emotional risk, dating-wise.

Personally, I think we fall just as in love with people for their flaws as we do for their strengths. (Also, who gets to define what flaws and strengths are, anyway?)

And while there are few guarantees in life, besides death and taxes—one thing that’s for certain is the fact that conflict (relationship hiccups, health issues, money problems, etc.) is inevitable. We each deal with them differently—hopefully usually in healthy ways and at other times—um, well. Balance is good, right?

I mean, for me, sometimes when I’m stressed out or flirting with a panic attack, I know I just have to go eat two of those Beyond Burgers from Carl’s Jr, and then dry heave in the parking lot for a little bit. It’s how I process things.) It’s a necessary step for finding solutions and trying to not be a dick about how terrible and overwhelmed I feel. (I also have to work out a lot and funnel a constant stream of probiotics into my face, but that’s a personal issue and not something you should have to worry about.)

Coping is never easy, but humor is a great way to deal with problems, so long as it doesn’t get in the way of actually identifying our emotions. So for now, let’s not put so much pressure on ourselves and, instead, appreciate where we’re at and the steps we’re taking towards bettering our mental health—out there in the thick of it all, together.

If you or a loved one are in distress and contemplating self-harm, please reach out. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available for 24 hours a day at 1-800-273-8255.

Each Zodiac Sign’s Maladaptive Coping Mechanism, Aka the Therapist Meme:

STYLECASTER | Zodiac Signs as Therapist Meme

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Aries –

Therapist: And what do we do when we feel like this?

Me: Ignore every red flag and piece of well-meaning advice and do the thing anyway with zero preparation or regard for my mental-health.

Therapist: No.

Aries doesn’t like to wait or think things through exhaustively. While they may want to be proactive about solving their own problems, their independence and impulsivity can sometimes lead to bigger problems. Taking a deep breath and some time to meditate on it before making a big decision? Yeah, Aries doesn’t know her.

STYLECASTER | Zodiac Signs as Therapist Meme

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Taurus –

Therapist: And what do we do when we feel like this?

Me: Tell my ex I want to get back together with them.

Therapist: No.

Taurus likes people. They dislike conflict, and really, they don’t often have interpersonal issues or problems with other people. Their issues are more internal and something they prefer to resolve in private, or, you know, cope with privately. They are one of the signs who is more likely to seek comfort with the familiar (even if it’s shitty) when they’re going through something.

STYLECASTER | Zodiac Signs as Therapist Meme

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Gemini

Therapist: And what do we do when we feel like this?

Me: Burn it down—

Therapist: Why do you always want to light things on fire?

Me: —to the ground, leaving behind nothing but ashes.

Therapist: No!

Gemini is an all-or-nothing kind of sign, so it’s not too far of a stretch to say that their first method of problem-solving is committing arson. Long-term planning isn’t always a strength for this sign, so finding ways to keep them motivated and focused long enough to finish something can be a feat. But their hearts are in the right place. And if they care enough, they’ll work hard to make sure they’re hitting the mark.

STYLECASTER | Zodiac Signs as Therapist Meme

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Cancer –

Therapist: And what do we do when we feel like this?

Me: Buy several full-priced Anthropologie candles.

Therapist: No.

Cancer knows how to feel their feelings. And while most of them are pretty adept at navigating the waters of a world where intense feelings are often considered dangerous or insane. But Cancer does have a weakness for bougie interior décor. And when reaallly stressed, they might go on a bender and come home with, like, an entire new dinnerware set. Be warned.

STYLECASTER | Zodiac Signs as Therapist Meme

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Leo

Therapist: And what do we do when we feel like this?

Me: More espresso,  less depresso.

Therapist: No.

Leo loves to be happy—and dealing with bummers can be a struggle fro them. For Leo, distraction can be dangerous, as it will stop them from dealing with their issues and get them mega-focused on things that don’t really matter—such as, parties, socializing, petty disagreements, etc. Or, you know, extreme caffeination and an urge to shove feelings of sadness into the nearest manhole.

STYLECASTER | Zodiac Signs as Therapist Meme

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Virgo –

Therapist: And what do we say when we feel like this?

Me: Buy a new notebook.

Therapist: No.

Me: Right, buy *TWO* new notebooks.

When Virgo is stressed, things get clean and organized. I always know when the Virgos in my life are struggling—their cars are immaculate, they make plans WEEKS in advance and send me an email with an Outlook calendar invitation, and they dedicate entirely too much time into seasonal decorating. While from the outside this may seem like thriving, what Virgo might want to consider is time to sit down and tackle the issue head-on.

STYLECASTER | Zodiac Signs as Therapist Meme

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Libra

Therapist: And what do we do when we feel like this?

Me: Call my sister and start a fight over something that happened, like, three years ago.

Therapist: No.

Libra isn’t afraid of conflict or letting their feelings be known. But sometimes, finding the appropriate “target” of their unhappiness can result in some real shit. It’s not that they pick fights, necessarily, it’s that they hurl them with all the precision of a heat-seeking missile and prepare to drag you straight to hell. Love ‘em.

STYLECASTER | Zodiac Signs as Therapist Meme

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Scorpio –

Therapist: And what do we do when we feel like this?

Me: Fake my death, get a new identity and start over.

Therapist: … Why does it sound like this is something you’ve done before?

Scorpio doesn’t like to mess around with flimsy passive-aggressive comments or repressed silence. If they’re upset, they’re going to do something about it. Whether it is directly related to the problem or will result in WWIII is unclear. The caveat: Scorpio has a big heart, and while people may not always agree with their methods, they do try to be fair and considerate as much as possible.

STYLECASTER | Zodiac Signs as Therapist Meme

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Sagittarius

Therapist: And what do we do when we feel like this?

Me: Listen to Taylor swift on repeat and ignore all of my obligations and responsibilities.

Therapist: No.

Sagittarius can be responsible, but they would really just rather not. When faced with a dilemma, their first go-to move is often avoidance. And I mean, okay, it works for a little bit. And I agree that healthy people put emotional trauma aside until they’re ready to deal with it—but learning to deal with things instead of just stressing about them as background noise is definitely an area of growth for Sagittarius. The good news? They’re pretty good advice-givers—they just don’t know how to take their own.

STYLECASTER | Zodiac Signs as Therapist Meme

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Capricorn –

Therapist: And what do we do when we feel like this?

Me: Bury my feelings so deeply that it will take 100 years for them to be unearthed.

Therapist: Not at all.

Capricorn likes to be in control. And in situations where they lack agency or options, they can power down or try to shut off their feelings—which, by the way, Capricorn has. Big ones even! But they’re so used to putting them aside to be responsible and dependable that it can be hard for them to fully process their thoughts and associated feelings. Ask them how they’re doing. Remind them that it’s okay to be uncomfortable, because, as the saying goes, the only way out is through.

STYLECASTER | Zodiac Signs as Therapist Meme

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Aquarius –

Therapist: And what do we do when we feel like this?

Me: Put off making any changes or doing things differently from the way I always have done them.

Therapist: No.

Aquarius can be a decisive sign, though it may take a minute to get there. When they make up their mind, you can usually trust them to follow through. Their issue comes with making the decision to change or improve a situation. They’re more likely to let things continue and see what plays out, rather than trying to actively find a solution.

STYLECASTER | Zodiac Signs as Therapist Meme

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Pisces –

Therapist: And what do we do when we feel like this?

Me: Quit, pretend it never happened and never revisit any geographical location associated with emotional pain ever again.

Therapist: No.

Pisces doesn’t like to commit to something unless they’re really sure. And when faced with setbacks, they act like an embarrassed cat: unaffected and slightly bored by it all. They’ll avoid people and places that remind them of perceived failures, and getting them to open up about it can be difficult. But Pisces values honesty. And if really pressed, they know what they did or didn’t do.

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