Why Did Gabby & Erich Break Up From ‘The Bachelorette’? She Hinted at the ‘Blame’ He Would Place on Her

Gabby, Erich, "The Bachelorette" 2022
Photo: Craig Sjodin/ABC via Getty Images.

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The last rose. Since the news of their split, fans have wondered: Why did Gabby and Erich break up from The Bachelorette and what was the real reason for their split?

Gabby Windey and Erich Schwer met on The Bachelorette season 19 in 2022, which Gabby was the Bachelorette for, along with Rachel Recchia. (Gabby and Rachel were contestants on The Bachelor season 26 with Clayton Echard, but were eliminated in third place.) Gabby gave Erich her final rose and chose him as her winner in The Bachelorette season 19 finale, and the two got engaged.  “When I met you, I, like, immediately was 100 percent myself. I’ve never met anybody that I felt that comfortable with — that deep of a connection. I felt like I really knew you for years,” Erich told Gabby in his proposal. “I didn’t know it, but I had met my soulmate. You finally let your barriers down, and I think our relationship transcended to this insane level. … You literally make me feel like I’m the only person in the world. And I will fight every day for the rest of my life to keep that feeling. I love you, Gabby Windey. You are amazing. You are the most amazing person I’ve ever met. It’s you and me until the wheels fall off. I’m head over heels in love with you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

In an interview with People after The Bachelorette season 19 finale, Gabby revealed that she moved from Colorado to Los Angeles to be closer to Erich and the two had “lots of FaceTimes” and “lots of communication” while they kept their relationship a secret. “There’s lots of excitement. There’s also some fear, because you don’t know what you’re really walking into,” she said at the time. “It’s a whole new world post filming!” She continued, “If there was an inkling of a worry or of a concern, you have to bring it up sooner rather than later for yourself, because your time is so limited together. You would address some things in person and then be together again. You get into more of a rhythm.”

So…why did Gabby and Erich break up from The Bachelorette 2022? Read on for the reason for Gabby and Erich’s split after The Bachelorette season 19 and why they broke up.

Why did Gabby and Erich break up from The Bachelorette 2022?

Gabby, Erich "The Bachelorette" 2022

Image: ABC/Craig Sjodin.

Why did Gabby and Erich break up from The Bachelorette 2022? E! News confirmed on November 4, 2022, that Gabby and Erich had ended their engagement less than two months after The Bachelorette season 19 finale. A source told the site that Gabby was the one who broke up with Erich because they “weren’t on the same page.” “She felt they weren’t aligned and weren’t on the same page,” the insider said. “Gabby was hoping they could give each other space and work it out but ultimately decided they didn’t have a future.”

On an episode of Dancing With the Stars in November 2022, Gabby confirmed her breakup with Erich and revealed that the two broke up because of a difference in their “common goals” and how they “approach life.” Gabby also hinted that she broke up with Erich because of the “blame” he would put on her during their relationship. “For me, [love] holds a special place because I did just go through a break up,” she said. “The end of our relationship happened because we weren’t completely in step and in sync with each other on our common goals or just the way we approach life. We weren’t each other’s best match.” She continued, “But I’m just so grateful that my dad and my stepmom encompass so many fundamentals and values that I look for in a relationship: never placing blame or you did this or that. OK, someone left the microwave dirty. But, like, it doesn’t matter. … I want to channel that kind of everlasting love in this dance.”

A day after the episode, Erich also confirmed his split from Gabby in an Instagram Story. “A lot of you are reaching out with questions about me and Gabby. The reality is that we ultimately were not each others people – it’s hard when there isn’t one thing to put your finger on. We met in a very unique situation and in a very unique way and I’m grateful we did,” he wrote. “I would never take it back. Gabby is an amazing person and she is doing amazing things. I will always root for her and I hope she gives them hell in the DWTS finale. I have learned and grown so much this year from experiences and mistakes and I continue to better myself every day. I am hoping to take this time with my family and loved ones and focus on myself. I have been working hard these past few months and I’m excited to share with y’all eventually.”

News of Gabby and Erich’s breakup came days after rumors the two had split when she was seen without her engagement ring while filming Dancing With the Stars season 31, where she was partnered with Valentin Chmerkovskiy. The rumors also sparked after Erich wasn’t seen in the audience at a taping of Dancing With the Stars at the time. Though he wasn’t in the audience, Erich seemed to confirm he and Gabby were still together at the time by posting an Instagram Story asking fans to vote for Gabby. “Vote Team Gabby!! Ten times PPL. She keeps on crushin it,” he wrote.

Gabby responded to the rumors in an interview with Fox News at the time where she hinted that her and Erich’s “busy” schedules were an issue in their relationship. “I think life is just really busy for the both of us right now,” she said. “So, I understand their concern but we’re just kinda, you know, going forward with each of our individual interests and supporting each other from afar.” Reality Steve also reported at the time of the interview that he heard Gabby and Erich’s relationship wasn’t “long term” the day after they filmed their “After the Final Rose” special. “None of this should be much of a surprise since I said the day after the ATFR that they weren’t long term and it’d be sooner rather than later,” he wrote in a blog post at the time.

Reality Steve also reported on what he called the “DWTS curse,” which also affected other Bachelor Nation leads who went on Dancing with the Stars immediately after their season ended and broke up soon after. Other couples include: Season 14 Bachelor Jake Pavelka and his winner Vienna Girardi; season 19 Bachelor Chris Soules and his winner Whitney Bischoff; and season 21 Bachelor Nick Viall and his winner Vanessa Grimaldi. According to Reality Steve, the only Bachelor Nation couple to last after Dancing with the Stars was season 17 Bachelor Sean Lowe and his winner Catherine Giudici. “To immediately come off the show as an engaged couple, and then all the sudden one of the parties involved is rehearsing 6, 8, 10 hours a day when you’re finally allowed to a be a public couple? Yeah, makes sense as to why these couples haven’t made it,” Reality Steve wrote in his blog post. “I’m not saying Gabby should’ve turned DWTS down to focus on her relationship, because it’s too good an opportunity, and certainly she’s thriving in it. I don’t think it would’ve mattered really. I said it then and I’ll say it now, her star is on the rise and she’s insanely more popular in that relationship than Erich and always would be. And that’s a dynamic that is difficult to navigate. We see it in real Hollywood a lot. This is that on much smaller level.”

Before their breakup, Gabby also called Erich “supportive” of her often intimate dances with Val, who is married to former Dancing With the Stars professional dancer, Jenna Johnson, in an episode of Dancing With the Stars. “Erich’s really supportive,” she said. “I think it’s a learning curve for all of us. We’ve never been in this arena before, but it was great having Jenna to come into the rehearsal space and teach me and get to learn from her. And Erich has been so supportive. He kind of understands this is a performance and we have a goal.”

Gabby, Erich, "The Bachelorette" 2022

Image: Craig Sjodin/ABC via Getty Images.

During their “After the Final Rose” special in September 2022, Gabby and Erich addressed Erich’s ex-girlfriend Amanda Kaylor’s claims that they were still together when he went on The Bachelorette and that Erich told her that the show was “all acting” and he wanted to be a contestant for a “fresh start and a new career path.” Amanda also leaked texts between her and Erich seemingly confirming this. (More on that later.) “I led her on and I want to own that. No hard feelings toward this girl at all. I understand her actions. … I didn’t want to have a hard conversation. But I’ve learned a lot from it. I want to own that 100 percent. I do not have any hard feelings for this girl. It’s a mistake I made on my part,” Erich said. He continued, “I was using the show as an excuse to not confront her about our relationship. I didn’t see a future but we were having fun. … I love [Gabby] with all my heart. 100 percent real. I never expected it. I want this to be forever.”

Gabby confirmed Erich told her about Amanda before Erich’s ex-girlfriend’s claims went public. She also called him “gracious” and “honest” before joking that he was an “asshole.” She also confirmed that she forgave him. She also told People at the time, “I was expecting the text messages,” she said. “He was scared they were going to leak and I’m like, ‘You have to prepare yourself now and tell me the truth.’ And he did, so there’s not really anything I can say or do.”

She continued, “Ultimately it was a time for us to take a step back and reflect on our relationship and see if we can get through this,” Gabby says. “You have to really lead on your communication, be really honest with each other while having these tough conversations. We’re seeing how we can become better from both.”

The “After the Final Rose” special came after Erich’s ex-girlfriend, Amanda Kaylor, claimed in a statement to the Instagram account @Bachelornation.Scoop that they were still together when he went on The Bachelorette. Read the full statement below:

“After long debating ever telling anyone about my chapter with Erich, Ive decided to. He recently posted a well deserved apology for an unacceptable decision he made to Instagram. It took me back to another apology he made that I received from him this summer. This is in no way me comparing his inexcusable actions but rather to help shine light on his true character. When Erich and I had began dating it was quite the whirlwind romance, we were head over heels for each other, happiest I’d felt in a while. After a few months of amazing dates, adventures, countless sleepovers, I thought I had really found my person.”

“Erich had lost his job during this time and I could tell it weighed heavy on him & I tried to be there for him as he prepared for his interviews for new jobs. One morning after a normal night together I got a text after he left my place (march 10th) making jokes and telling me he got some news he wanted to talk to me about. I called him immediately. He told me he got a call and was offered to be a contestant on the bachelorette and I was in shook he would even consider this kind of gig while we were dating. He insisted that it was all acting and it would be as if he was just going out of town for a few weeks. He wanted a fresh start and a new career path because he was unhappy with his.”

“I knew that this wasn’t that this wasn’t a reality show I could handle ‘just waiting for him on the other side.’ I made it clear that was something I would not be okay with and he said he needed to think about what to do because it could open a lot of doors. I texted him after letting him know that if this was the decision he was making, best of luck but I stand by my decision not to stay. Ive attached the following screenshots of conversation that were had following this call. I mourned our relationship. I cried a ton and began to process that there was something better out there for me. Texts were still being exchanged between us about how sad we were to lose each other, but I knew I needed to move on.”

“Ten days later (march 22nd) I received two dozen roses at my door from Erich with a note saying I’ll never stop thinking about you. The texts following those roses are also attached but in short he says he went back home to think about everything couldn’t stop thinking about me and wanted to know if we could talk when he returned to LA. I decided to sleep on this because my heart was broken, but the next morning, the sucker I am agreed to meeting with him and texted him back. Little did I know he had already returned and left to film the show so my text went green.”

“It was hard to process that he could reopen a wound just to make the same choice, leaving me heartbroken once again. Once again, I mourned, healed, and moved on. I received a text from him (July 10th) as the show began to air, telling me how terrible what he did to me was and how sorry he was. That he thinks about me all the time and won’t ever forgive himself. Our chapter was over for me long before this and I saw this as a sad attempt to save himself from anything to harm his newfound fame and reputation. I don’t believe Erich had any good intentions going on this show and I don’t believe anything to have changed, he wanted the clout and he got it. I just hope he doesn’t continue to hurt anyone on this new path he is on.”

Erich, Gabby "The Bachelorette" 2022

Image: ABC/Craig Sjodin.

Amanda also shared texts from Erich around the time he was cast on The Bachelorette. “I got some news this morning that I need to talk to you about,” Erich texted. After calling Erich, Amanda texted him, “not sure how you expected me to feel but if that’s your decision, best of luck.” Erich responded, “I know this isn’t ideal, I wanted to do this to see if there was something else I could do with my life. I really like you Amanda. I didn’t think it would be a big deal, but I understand how you feel. I’m sorry and I understand if you don’t want to see me anymore.” Amanda texted back, “you expect me to continue dating you while you go on a reality tv show to ‘find love.'” Erich responded, “It isn’t real, but you’re right. I am sorry I really didn’t think this all through.” Amanda texted back, “So you drop something real for something fake got it..” Erich responded, “I didn’t realize the implications. I am sorry I thought we could get on the same page about this. I really didn’t mean for this to hurt you.”

Amanda texted back, “well I’m heartbroken, really hope you get all the fame and business opportunities you are looking for.” Erich responded, “I am not well Amanda. You make me happy, but I am deeply unhappy with myself. You are better off without me in the long run, trust me.” Amanda texted back, “You don’t get to tell me what I’m better off without. We are all unhappy with ourselves, but we have the choice to choose someone who makes us a better versuion of ourselves.” Erich responded, “You are right and I agree with you, but I don’t think I can be that for you. Not until I figure out who I am. Not that this is the answer, but I need to change. I’m stuck in my career path and I’m miserable with it. I don’t want this to be the rest of my life.”

When Erich returned from The Bachelorette in July 2022, Erich texted Amanda, “I am so sorry Amanda, what I did was terrible, I don’t expect you to ever forgive me. I just want you to know I think about you all the time and you really deserve the best. I won’t ever forgive myself I hope find happiness and everything you deserve.” Amanda also shared photos of her and Erich to confirm they were in a relationship.

Who is Gabby Windey from The Bachelorette 2022? 

"The Bachelorette" 2022 Gabby

Image: ABC/Gizelle Hernandez.

Who is Gabby Windey from The Bachelorette 2022? The Bachelorette season 19 leads are Gabby Windey and Rachel Recchia from The Bachelor season 26 with Clayton Echard. Gabby is a 31-year-old ICU nurse from O’Fallon, Illinois, who currently lives in Denver, Colorado. Her Instagram handle is @gabriela.windey. She was eliminated in the final three after Clayton chose Susie Evans—whom he eliminated the episode before but invited back to the show—as his winner, sending home both Gabby and Rachel. “I actually don’t know who you are at all. “I’m pissed because I spent the last two months away from my friends and family who actually give a shit about me, and you don’t,” Gabby told Clayton after he eliminated her. She continued, “You asked me to stay because you were pissed because Susie left and your pride was hurt.” She also added during the “After the Final Rose” special, “Watching it back, everything is so muddled, and you are clearly pitting us against each other. It really seems like a competition, which I had expressed to you that I didn’t want to be a part of.”

So who is The Bachelorette 2022, Gabby Windey? Gabby listed her job on The Bachelor as an “ICU Nurse.” Gabby also worked as a registered nurse in the medical ICU at UCHealth University of Colorado Hospital, according to her Linkedin.  In an interview with The Athletic in 2020, Gabby opened up about what it’s like to work on the frontlines of the COVID-19 pandemic. “We’re all leaning on each other, and it really becomes a new normal kind of fast,” she said. “All of health care is ever-changing because we’re always trying to make sure we’re doing things the best way, which comes with evidence-based practice and re-evaluating the way we’re doing things. So we are used to change. But it is hard and, of course, this is different because of the seriousness of it and how many people it’s affecting.”

She continued, “There is always kind of a thought and worry of working so close to it, there’s obviously a risk of transmission. But we have the suitable PPE and have been trained extensively how to take it on and off carefully so we don’t give it to ourselves while we’re taking it off. You have to be vigilant and you have to pay attention to what you’re doing at all times. “I haven’t had to reuse any other PPE, but putting it out there early on that we need to not be wasteful has really helped us now.”

Along with her job as an ICU nurse, Gabby is also a cheerleader for the Denver Broncos. In 2021, Gabby, who’s been cheering for the Denver Broncos since 2016, became the first woman to receive the Pop Warner Humanitarian Award, an honor usually given to football players. “Windey is the first female and NFL cheerleader in the history of the award, which has traditionally been awarded to NFL players,” Pop Warner Little Scholars said in a press release. (Kansas City Chiefs lineman Laurent Duvernay-Tardif also received the honor.) “Both Windey and Duvarney-Tardif’s selflessness and commitment to helping others are an embodiment of sacrifice and teamwork, making them model representatives for young student-athletes across the nation.”

In her Bachelor bio, Gabby described her dream man as someone who has a “quiet confidence.” “Gabby is much more than meets the eye. Not only is she beautiful, but she also has a lot of substance, emotional depth and a wealth of lived experiences,” her bio read. “Gabby is looking for a man with quiet confidence. She doesn’t have a physical type but says that if he doesn’t have a personality, then it’s a hard pass. Her ideal man will challenge her, communicate his feelings and work hard to equally carry the weight of the relationship.”

Her bio continued, “The one nonnegotiable for Gabby? Whatever man captures Gabby’s heart must also have room in their life for her four-legged friend because she and her goldendoodle Leonardo are a package deal. While Gabby would love to find a man, she isn’t the type to lose herself in a relationship. She’s hoping to find a man who will love her for the independent woman she is.”

For her fun facts, Gabby listed the following:

• Gabby is terrified of humpback whales but would love to see one in person from a safe distance.

• Gabby loves to write cards.

• Stomping grapes in Italy is at the top of Gabby’s bucket list.

Clayton also wasn’t Gabby’s first Bachelor Nation relationship. Gabby is the ex-girlfriend of both Dean Unglert from The Bachelorette season 13 with Rachel Lindsay and Blake Horstmann from The Bachelorette season 14 with Becca Kufrin. Dean, who also starred on Bachelor in Paradise season 5 and 6, confirmed the relationship on an episode of his “Help! I Suck at Dating” podcast in October 2021. “She was, like, one of the main exes. She was my girlfriend from college,” he said. “Producers called me and were like, ‘Hey, we’re thinking of casting this person — what do you think of her? We know that you dated 10 years ago.’ And I was like, ‘Oh, she’s great. If she gets selected for the show, she’ll either win the show or she’ll be the next Bachelorette.’ And I firmly believe that.”

Blake, who was also on Bachelor in Paradise season 6, also confirmed that he dated Gabby for a “couple months” on an episode of the “Behind the Rose” podcast in October 2021. “We like the same girls, man. I didn’t know Dean until obviously, like, 2018, but Gabby was a good friend of one of my very good friends from college, they were roommates,” he said. “I met Gabby long before I was on The Bachelorette, like, I want to say maybe 2015 or 2016. We hung out for a little bit, so I know her very well. And Dean, I don’t know how it came up, but one time, me and Dean were sitting there — I think we were in Buffalo, and he mentioned Gabby — and I was like, ‘How do you know Gabby?’ And he was like, ‘Dude, she was, like, my girl in college, you know, we were in love and blah blah.’”

He continued, “She’s fun. She has a very outgoing personality, very loud, like, when she walks into a room, you know she’s in a room. You never know if the lead is going to be into something like that. You never know if they like the more shy, quiet type or they like the loud, outgoing type, but she’s definitely very loud, very outgoing, she has a lot of friends. So if Clayton’s into that, I see her getting hometowns, for sure. She’s a beautiful woman. … They’re gonna have the football player, cheerleader story line.”

In an interview on the “Talking It Out With Bachelor Nation” podcast in January 2022, Gabby claimed that she and Blake “hung out for a little” but weren’t ever in an official relationship. “Blake and I had mutual friends,” Gabby said, noting that they met after she graduated from college in 2014. “We never actually went on a date. There was no drinks paid for. No dinner paid for. [Blake’s] saying we dated… He’s definitely friends of friends. You know, we had spent time together and stuff but definitely no, like, official dating, like, no really kind of formal, no exclusivity and again, it was a really long time ago.”

She called Dean, however, one of her “first loves.” “It was just so long ago,” she said. “It’s a distant past from my experience on ‘The Bachelor’ and you know, Clayton [Echard] and I’s story, it’s very much its own thing. I’m always really grateful that it was so far in the past, so I could focus more on Clayton and kind of separate [that].”

Who is Erich Schwer from The Bachelorette 2022?

Erich, "The Bachelorette" 2022

Image: ABC/Ricky Middlesworth.

Who is Erich Schwer from The Bachelorette 2022? Erich is a 29-year-old from Bedminster, New Jersey, who currently lives in Los Angeles, California. His Instagram handle is @oh_for_schwer. Erich is Gabby’s contestant on The Bachelorette season 19. On July 9, 2022, Erich announced on his Instagram that his father had died. “Thankful for everything you’ve done for me. We are gonna miss the hell out of you Big AL. I love you so much dad,” he captioned a series of photos of him and his dad.

In his biography on ABC’s website, Erich describes himself as a “handsome guy” with a “quiet confidence” who is a “bit mysterious” and a bit fun. Read Erich’s Bachelorette 2022 biography and fun facts ahead:

“Erich is a handsome guy whose quiet confidence is hard to ignore. He describes himself as low-key, funny, outdoorsy and a bit mysterious with a fun side. When it comes to relationships, Erich acts with intention and is looking for the real deal. He doesn’t want to be in a relationship just to be in a relationship and says that the next time he commits, it’s for the long haul. His perfect partner is easygoing, selfless and communicative; and while he says he doesn’t have a type, he often finds himself attracted to taller women. He loves doing the unexpected and finds joy in making someone feel special. Above all, Erich hopes to find his best friend and someone with whom he can spend a lifetime of quality time.

Fun Facts:
– Erich has no interest in going to an escape room.
– Erich likes his wine both red and white.
– Erich dreams of seeing the Northern Lights in person.”

Erich listed his job on The Bachelorette as a “Real Estate Analyst.” According to his Linkedin, Erich worked as an Acquisitions Analyst for Rexford Industrial, where he’s worked since November 2021. Before that, he was a Senior Analyst for Transwestern and held roles at Sky Management Services, Locus Energy, and Hobbs & Towne Inc. He graduated from Elon University with a bachelor’s of science in marketing in 2015. He also attended the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, for one year from 2011 to 2012, where he studied economics.

For Erich’s Hometown Date with Gabby on The Bachelorette season 19, they went to Bedminster, New Jersey, where they visited Natirar Park and Erich’s family’s house. For his limo introduction in episode 1, Erich introduced himself to Gabby and Rachel and asked them for help tying his tie. “Do either of you know how to tie a tie? Please help me,” he said as Gabby and Rachel tie his tie. Erich went on his first One-on-One date in the third episode of The Bachelorette season 19, where he and Gabby went bowling.

The Bachelorette is available to stream on Hulu. Here’s how to watch it for free.

"Bachelor Nation" by Amy Kaufman

Image: Courtesy of Penguin Books.

Bachelor Nation by Amy Kaufman

To get more of an inside scoop, check out Los Angeles Times writer Amy Kaufman’s book, Bachelor Nation: Inside the World of America’s Favorite Guilty Pleasure, for a deep dive into the Bachelor franchise. The book uncovers the secrets of Bachelor Nation, from how much the Bachelor and the Bachelorette are paid to the rules contestants have to follow, that producers don’t want fans to know. It’s a must-read for any Bachelor Nation member.

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