High-Schooler Flips a Water Bottle and the Internet Basically Burns Down

Maybe minimal is the new max-supreme, because some high-schooler named Mike Santore got onstage at a talent show in North Carolina to perfectly execute a water-bottle toss, landing it straight up on a table after throwing it with a little twist, and the auditorium went wild. And then the Internet went wild, because putting such a video on Twitter is sort of like sneezing on the entire world when you have the swine flu.

Twelfth-grader Santore is officially today’s biggest online star, after pal Scottie Finager and others captured on camera iPhone and posted a video of this feat yesterday. Bowing down to the water bottle magician, Finager wrote, “YOU ARE A LEGEND,” alongside the clip. Other pals did the same, having obviously captured the act on their phones, because now teenagers film everything that happens, day and night, regardless of its importance or level of consequence.

Santore, who looks a little like Zac Efron, apparently gave his classmates “THE MOST LIT THING … EVER EXPERIENCED,” according to cinematographer and fellow student Wesley Manning. Santore, a.k.a. “The Bike” for some reason, tweeted shortly after all of the videos appeared and went viral, “The flip heard round the world.” So he is a poet as well as a sorcerer. We can only conclude he is mystical, as his effect on his audience makes no objective sense. Then again, we’ve been to high school and we remember how boring it is, so maybe these guys just were in seriously sore need of some entertainment. Also, this seems like a joke that a bunch of high school boys dreamed up that just went really, really, unbelievably well—way better than expected.

The Bike is obviously a go-getter, as he tweeted this morning, “#MiketoEllen.” Totally, man. See you on “Ellen.” Maybe Damn Daniel can come along for round two.