1. They get into bed at the same time.
Remember when you first started dating and you never stayed in the living room watching TV while he went to bed? Well, sleeping at the same time is necessary to maintain. When you go to bed together, you’re making sure you’re on the same page. Even if sex isn’t in the picture every night, getting into bed at the same time shows that you’re putting in effort to end the day together.
2. They find common interests.
It’s truly important to enjoy doing things together. You obviously don’t need to share all your hobbies—it’s healthy to do your own thing, too—but you should have activities that the two of you look forward to doing as a couple. Whether it’s picking a new restaurant to try every weekend, taking your bikes out, or simply binge-watching “Homeland,” find something fun to do consistently together.
3. They touch.
Small acts like holding hands or putting your arm around each other increases closeness, which is always a factor in the lives of happy couples. When you’ve been together for years, it’s easy for intimacy to fade. When you hold hands as you walk down the street, you’re sending a message to each other—and everyone else—that you’re happy.
4. They don’t pointlessly nag.
Happy couples accentuate the positive things their partner does. This means not constantly nitpicking, nagging, or criticizing. If something’s bothering you, have a real conversation about it.
5. They do stereotypical stuff like kiss each other hello and say I love you.
Before you leave for work in the morning, give your partner a really great goodbye kiss and say I love you. When you come home from a long day, do the same thing. Your morning and evening greeting should be something that you look forward to. Once you start kissing and sharing your feelings often, you’ll appreciate each other more. People forget that the small things make a difference. When you begin your day with something positive, you’re starting on a good note.
6. They don’t forget each other
In the crazy hectic world we live in, it’s easy to get caught up and simply become too busy for each other. Remember how excited you were to see each other when you first started dating? Well, nothing is stopping you from feeling that way all the time. Do little things to make each other happy. Be thankful that you have someone you love who loves you back. Look at your partner and be grateful that you’re together.
7. They go out together.
Having a date night is essential. Just like when you first started seeing each other, one of you should plan the entire night. Date night encourages you to do something to better your relationship. As silly as it sounds, getting dressed up and going out, just the two of you, keeps the romance strong. When you work on keeping the spark alive, you’re making an effort to be happy.
8. They genuinely enjoy each other’s company.
Being real friends with your significant other takes work. When you’ve been together for what feels like an eternity, it’s easy to take each other’s company for granted. Have conversations about your interests, current events, people you know—basically, talk about anything you would with a BFF.
9. They break routines.
Your relationship shouldn’t feel like a routine. Do you call each other at the same time every day? Does every night consist of the same activity? If so, switch it up. Your life as a couple shouldn’t become predictable. You don’t want anything to ever feel like it’s scheduled. You should embrace spontaneity and surprise each other with fun things to do.
10. They put their phones away.
When happy couples spend time together, they put their phones away and really focus on each other. Even if you’re spending the night in, unplug. Mindlessly checking Instagram can wait. It’s key to be present so your time together is valuable.
Carly Spindel has inadvertently been in the matchmaking business since she was six years old. Now, she’s the vice president of Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking Inc. (check them out at JanisSpindelMatchMaker.com) and has “officially” been matching couples for four years.