Strap Your Wigs On: Get Ready To Watch Kim Zolciak’s Wedding

Spencer Cain

This is really no big surprise, but it’s been officially confirmed that America will be given the best gift of all time. No, the government will not be decreasing the national debt, but they will be televising Kim Zolciak and Kroy Biermann’s wedding!

The “docu-series” (I find it absolutely appalling that this is the name Bravo came up with for this nonsense) will be entitled Don’t Be Tardy for the Wedding, and will be in the same vein as the Real Housewives of New York spin-off, Bethenny Getting Married. Bethenny documented margarita entrepreneur Bethenny Frankel‘s wedding to a seemingly unemployed man named Jason (with abs like that, who cares if you have a job?)

Similar to Bethenny, Kim also had an out-of-wedlock bun in the oven prior to the wedding. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I guess! But seriously, this show is going to be absolutely glorious.”My life has turned into a true Cinderella story,” Zolciaksaid, “and to watch the pieces unfold is going to be great! I can’t wait to share with all of you!”

Yes, I’m pretty sure this is what a true Cinderella story is! You dated a rich married dude who you call “Big Papa” (who also told you don’t have to work anymore). Then, you landed a reality show, amazed us by single-handedly smoking three packs of cigarettes a day, proceeded to drink more wine than Ramona Singer and made out like a bandit with all of the lavish gifts that have been showered on you since. Eventually, you snagged a cute (MUCH YOUNGER) NFL football player who may not have the millions, but he has the heart, soul and most importantly, the willingness to participate in a reality TV franchise with you. And they say romance is dead.

Check out all the pics and more details about Kim’s lavish wedding in the new issue of Life & Style, on newsstands now.