A Slacker’s Guide To the Holidays: 5 Last Minute Gifts

Spencer Cain
A Slacker’s Guide To the Holidays: 5 Last Minute Gifts
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If you’re anything like me, the only thing you care about is yourself. I’m only sort of kidding. Every year, I say that I’m going to start Christmas shopping super early, get it all done, and really focus on the quality of the gifts I purchase. Time and time again, this does not happen.

With the slew of interesting things happening around this time of year (a.k.a. there’s really just a lot of spiked egg nog and a crap load of stuff on TV), it’s hard to find the time to give back to your family and friends. (And let’s face it, most of them probably screwed you over at some point this year anyway — I know mine did!)

Anyway, it’s two days before Christmas, and it’s time to get off of the couch, put down the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, dump your ashtray into the toilet, throw on a dirty hoodie, and hit the road. Click through the gallery above for what slackers like you and I need to scoop up this holiday season.

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People say giving booze is impersonal, but frankly, that's just not the case. Booze is the most personal gift you can give. Especially if you're heading to a holiday party of some sort, there's nothing classier or more delicious than a bottle of Veuve Clicquot Yellow Label. It retails for around 40 bucks, and it's well worth it. Whether you're making mimosas or swigging from the bottle, this leads to fine holiday fun. If bubbly isn't your cup of tea, snag your pal a bottle of some Alizé in order to make some festive cocktails. Okay, so maybe this gift is a little selfish...

This, my friends, is what we like to call the 7/11 special. You can literally buy everything for this item at your local convenience store, which is great if it's 4 AM on Christmas morning and you're scooting home from the bars. Basically, pick out a series of movies from the bargain bin (chances are, they'll have Fletch, Jerry Maguire, and  Spaceballs), grab a few microwave popcorns, Milk Duds, some M&Ms, and whatever other silly things you see by the counter. If your friends are anything like mine, they'd appreciate a pack of Parliament Lights. Basically, this gifts makes you look thoughtful, but it involves absolutely no thought. 

If your mother is a classy lady, she probably lives for a nice throw. If you don't have time to head to the store, order this DKNY Sherpa number online here. At $59.99, this is quite a deal, and you can print out a picture to put under the tree if it doesn't come in time. If you need instant gratification, any blanket you can find at your local mall will do, and seriously, it will be much appreciated. Women are always cold. 

If you're a well-heeled slacker with a couple Gs lying around and a lady friend to impress, make it a Christian Louboutin holiday. Seriously. Any pair. Even the really ugly ones are bound to make your chick quiver with bliss when she peeps it under the tree. Go to your local Neiman Marcus.

Look, toiletries are not the most glamorous things I can think of, but we all need 'em, and presentation is key. Why not throw together a basket of drug store goodies? Maybe avoid Irish Spring body wash and Herbal Essences, and opt for something a little more upscale. Perhaps a few Essie nail polishes, a nail file, some new clippers, and whatever else could make a cute self-manicure kit. For dudes, a shaving set is always a hit, trust me! 

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A Downtown Girl’s Guide to Holiday Gifting

A Downtown Girl’s Guide
to Holiday Gifting