I’m Single, So What?


dance by yourself

Hi! I’m Dara Adeeyo, a twenty-something New York City working girl, a perpetual blogger and a happily single female. Each week I’ll be delving into my life as a boyfriend-less young adult.

For as long as I can remember I’ve been the token single chick in my group of friends. Not single and hooking up with someone, or single and looking, but strictly single; me, myself, and I (and a giant tub of Nutella). It never bothers me that I’m constantly single. Okay. That’s a lie. It does irk me every now and then. Alas, I genuinely enjoy being single and think every woman should enjoy their singledom while it lasts. To know thyself is to love thyself, right? Well, I believe in knowing and loving yourself first before you share yourself with someone else.

Now before you think I’m some crazy-bitter single girl who thinks she doesn’t need a man, let me give you the run down on my love life, err, lack thereof and view on love.

I want to fall in love. I want to be in a relationship that mimics a Beyoncé song. I want to have a boy in my life that makes me look so Crazy in Love and want to love him until the End of Time. My parents have been together for over 40 years and are still so in love it’s nauseating and endearing. Growing up they showed me that it’s possible to love someone unconditionally. I looked for that fairytale growing up, pushing all these pre-conceived relationship notions on the boys I dated. Hm. I don’t know if you can call having a handful of boyfriends in middle school dating. Do you really know what love is then? Anyway, I haven’t had a boyfriend since I was 13. It’s partially by choice and partially by accident. I’m a very driven person when it comes to my future, so a lot of my days growing up were focused on having an excellent school life.

However, I digress.

The thing is, I’ve watched so many of my friends chase after boys who weren’t worth their time or settle in relationships simply because they don’t know what else is out there. And worst of all I’ve watched girls lose themselves, becoming all about their man and forgetting about their girlfriends. I’ve always wondered, “Why? What’s the rush? Hello, remember me? I was the one that was there when he broke your heart.”

So while my parents want me to hurry up and find a husband so they can have grand kids, I am simply focused on making myself a better person. I’m enjoying nurturing my friendships with my close girlfriends (they are my rock!) and figuring out where I want my career to go. When you’re single, you’re forced to focus on other things and other goals in your life besides a significant other. Being single all these years and achieving so many great things in my life has allowed me to get to know myself really well. My single girl lifestyle has even given me so much confidence I think I might have overdosed on it. I’m single and I love it.