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Shower sex is one of those things that’s almost always better in theory than it is in practice. Cue every romantic movie ever, where one person steps into the shower to find their partner rinsed and ready to go. Seriously, they’re never mid-shave with shampoo in their hair or running late for work—not to mention, someone is always orgasming within 5 seconds of player 2 entering the game. It’s all lies—anyone who’s actually attempted shower sex knows how awkward it can be (and how borderline acrobatic shower sex positions can get).
But sometimes, shower sex is good—really good. Sometimes, you find a shower sex position that’s totally comfortable—one that leaves you fully planted, stable and not at all at risk of falling to the ground. (It happens.) Sometimes, shower sex ends up perfectly lubricated, and not full of endlessly perplexing dry spots. (Seriously, how it is it possible for sex to be dry in the wettest place in your house?) Sometimes, shower sex is everything you want it to be. And it’s these moments that keep us going—that inspire us to attempt shower sex, time and time again, despite all the shower sex scenarios-gone-wrong. So how can we get more of this, and less of the awkward stuff?
The first step is to nail your lubrication situation, Natasha Chinn, M.D., New Jersey-based OB-GYN, tells StyleCaster. While water seems like nature’s lubricant, it can actually cause dryness during sex, Chinn says. That’s because the water washes away your body’s natural lubricant. To avoid this, stay away from friction-ful penetrative sex—or keep a little lube nearby. And definitely don’t reach for the soap. “You’ll have someone think they’ll just put soap on their penis for lubricant, and all I have to say is: Don’t do that!” Chinn adds. “You’ll have good sex one day, and now you’re burning with discharge the next. Not really the way you want to go.” (According to the National Institutes of Health, soap can alter the pH balance of your vaginal microbiome—which can pave the way for yeast overgrowth, or some other kind of infection. Remember, your vagina is self-cleaning—adding anything to the mix might mess up the delicate balance of bacteria that keeps you infection-free.)
Now that you’re clear on how to avoid dryness during shower sex, your next step is to find a shower sex position—or a few shower sex positions—that keep you feeling totally stable. Naturally, we have some ideas. Ahead, you’ll find seven tried-and-tested shower sex positions that—at least, in our experience—may minimize your risk of straight-up slipping. Remember, take full advantage of any seats, walls or handles you have access to. And—pro tip—invest in a bath mat.
1. Take a Seat
Seriously, just sit down. It really is one of your safest bets. Have the person with a penis or strap-on (if it’s waterproof) sit down and lean their back against the end of the tub with their legs extended straight out. This allows the other partner to straddle them, without risk of anyone falling.
Tip: Before sitting down, position the shower head so that it’s not spraying anyone in the face. Instead, tilt it downward so the straddling partner can feel the warm water running down their back, and so the penetrating partner can feel it tickling their inner thighs. (Let your sexiest shower sex waterfall fantasies come to life!)
2. Up Against The Wall
Have the receiving partner push the front of their body against the wall with their legs spread (just a bit) and their booty sticking out. This allows the other partner to grab them from behind, and to squat up and down (ever-so-slightly) to penetrate. Having both feet on the ground is always a safe shower sex bet—something this position takes full advantage of.
3. Lean with It, Rock with It
Standing doggy style is a great go-to if there’s a seat involved. Have the receiving partner spread their legs, lean forward and place their hands on the seat to support their upper body. This position is sturdy, safe and ultra sexy—plus, it works great for vaginal and anal penetration.
4. Standing Pretzel
While you’ll generally want to keep both feet on the ground during shower sex, sometimes you’ll crave something a little more experimental. In times like those, a position like this can be a ton of fun—so long as your base is sturdy. (Seriously, make sure your base is sturdy!!)
Have the penetrating partner stand with their feet apart (farther than hip-width, ideally) with their knees slightly bent for stability. Then, allow the receiving partner to wrap one leg around the base’s waist for easy insertion. If the receiving partner doesn’t feel comfortable holding their leg up for that long, the penetration partner can help out by holding onto the bottom of the receiver’s thigh.
5. Shower Head
If you have a detachable shower head, it’s time to put it to use. Have the person receiving oral sex stand in a comfortable, sturdy position for them. This could mean standing on two feet, leaning against a wall, or wrapping one foot around their partner. Then, the other partner can bend down to give them some seriously sexy shower head.
If the partner performing oral sex has a vagina, they can use the shower head to stimulate their clitoris while pleasuring their partner. If they have a penis, they can use the shower head to tickle their genitals—or to further stimulate their partner’s. Trust us, the shower head can work wonders—and reach all the right places.
6. Standing Oral Sex
Is it too soon for “bend the knee” jokes? To nail this position, have the partner receiving oral sex stand with their legs fairly far apart, while the partner performing oral sex sits on their knees, in between the legs of the receiver. If the receiving partner feels sturdy enough (or if there’s a ledge or windowsill to hold onto), the receiving partner can wrap one leg around their partner’s shoulder or neck, pulling them in closer for clitoral pressure or scrotum stimulation.
7. Living on the Edge
This might not work if you have an old-school, clawfoot tub with thin edges. But if you have a regular ol’ bathtub, this can be a fun position to try.
Have the penetrating partner sit on the edge of the tub with both feet planted firmly on the ground. The receiving partner can then sit on their lap, sliding onto the penis or strap-on. Now, it’s time for some serious rhythm and thigh strength. The receiving partner can try bouncing up and down, holding a square, slowly grinding forward and back or doing a little twerk on their partner’s lap. (If all else fails, rest assured knowing it’s a great view.)