Finding the confidence to truly feel sexy is difficult in any arena, but let’s be honest: it can be especially challenging in the bedroom. Once the clothes come off and it’s just you and a partner (or a few partners, if that’s your vibe), it’s easy for fear and self-consciousness to rear their heads—and nothing kills the mood quite like an insecurity you can’t ignore. Fortunately, there are a ton of sex positions for boosting confidence that can help you find your sexiest self and ensure a great time under the sheets. As Natasha Bedingfield once said, “Release your inhibitions!”
These confidence-boosting moves will make you feel ultra-comfortable in bed—or on the couch, or in the shower. Wherever you and your partner decide to get it on! The key to many of these positions is (surprise, surprise)intimacy. When you create intimacy with a partner—whether or not you’re romantically involved—your insecurities subside, and it’s easier to let loose. It’s then that your sexiest self can emerge!
Of course, there isn’t one surefire intimacy-igniter that works every time, for every couple. A sense of intimacy can be created in so many different ways. Maybe you’re a fan of face-to-face eye contact, or perhaps you couldn’t bare to lock eyes and prefer to focus on hand placement and sensual touch. Either way, there’s a move or two on this list for you.
There’s no wrong way to feel sexy, so go ahead and try out the 10 confidence-boosting sex positions below. You’re gonna feel so hot!
1. Reverse Cowgirl
While the classic Cowgirl position has the top partner face-to-face with the partner on bottom, Reverse Cowgirl has the person on top facing the opposite way. If you’re the partner on top, you can even stay on your knees to make it more comfortable. This position takes away the option of locking eyes with your partner, which can make some people feel self-conscious in the heat of the moment. Without that potential pressure, you can go full-force and show off your sexy side.
Spooning sex is ideal for people who are lazy at heart and who want to feel confident during sex. With one partner spooning the other and penetrating them from behind, you can feel close to one another without actually facing each other. It’s a good way to built trust and intimacy with your partner. Plus, if you’re not a fan of penetration, you can use the Spooning position as a way for your partner to masturbate you from behind. Bonus points if they use a vibrator for this—the Six Nine Wand Massager should do the trick.
3. Love on Top
Love on Top, otherwise known as the classic Cowgirl position, allows one partner to be on top during penetrative sex. The person on top can feel confident, in control and and dominant, while the partner on bottom doesn’t necessarily have to be submissive. Bottom partner: use a little dirty talk to hype your cowgirl up! Some verbal action during sex can work wonders for your partner’s self-esteem.
The Victory position starts with the penetrating partner grabbing the other partner’s legs and raising them up into a V-shaped position. From there, the partner holding the legs can stay on their knees and thrust. This position is particularly helpful for those who have a harder time orgasming from penetration. The partner on the bottom has an easy angle to massage themselves while being penetrated, so there is stimulation coming from all angles. If the bottom partner needs a little extra TLC, using a clitoral stimulator should get those ~good vibrations~ going.
Face-to-Face is similar to spooning in that both partners are horizontal, but instead of lying one behind the other, you’re facing in towards each other. In this position, you can use penetration or do mutual masturbation, and tightly grip your partner for that extra-intimate touch. If watching your partner during sex gives you a rush, this is the position for you.
Sardines is a mutual-masturbation sex position McDevitt features in her book, Sex Positions for Every Body. In this position, both people either lie flat, sit up, or stand side by side, close together like sardines in a can, and masturbate one other. This is a great way for both parties to feel satisfied and sexy at the same time, and an especially good way to play with toys. Je Joue’s Ooh Her Name is Rio Set offers options to stimulate the clit and the G-spot, so you can personalize your partner’s pleasure.
The Cross position is basically a modified Missionary, just a little more intense. The partner on bottom should lie back and curve their knees over the crotch or torso area of the top partner. The top partner can then thrust into the bottom partner. This setup kind of resembles a hero’s grip on his heroine on the cover of a erotic novel (only, you know, on the bed).
8. Comfy Doggy
You can pretty much do Comfy Doggy anywhere, but it works particularly well on a couch or a firmer mattress. The bottom partner should get on their hands and knees while the top partner also kneels while penetrating the top partner from behind. When you do this position on a couch or bed, make sure to surround yourselves with cozy throw pillows and blankets so that you can adjust positions and stay comfortable at the same time. If the penetrating partner doesn’t have a penis, consider using a strap-on to change things up! The Zoro Strap-On is great for beginners or pros.
9. Close-Contact Missionary
With Close-Contact Missionary, you can get a little more intimate and sexy than with classic Missionary. Instead of having the top partner elevating their upper body and hips, lie stomach-to-stomach. At this angle, both pubic bones are being pressed together, too, which can help stimulate the clitoris if one or both partners has a vagina.
10. Reclined Oral
This variation on the classic oral or blowjob position has the giver reclining on their back. (This works really well on a couch!) The receiver either stands or squats above the giver, depending on how tall they might be. If you’ve ever been self-conscious about your oral skills, this is a fun and easy position to try (in both the giving and receiving positions) for a quick confidence boost.