An Ode to DJ Khaled’s Distractingly Massive Gold Chain—and Others That Came Before It

An Ode to DJ Khaled’s Distractingly Massive Gold Chain—and Others That Came Before It

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I bought a new choker on Monday. It’s a thick piece of fabric that has blue and white stripes across it, and cute snaps in the back. I wore said choker twice already this week, swagging it around my office and my apartment (it was a slow plans week), feeling generally cocky that I had the good fortune of snagging it with a matching shirt. Cool, right? Wrong. As of this afternoon, I’m now convinced the only truly cool thing to wear around your neck is a gold chain-link necklace encrusted with diamonds, boasting a three-inch-thick girth, give or take.

This revelation came courtesy of sagelike DJ Khaled who posted an Instagram revealing the cover art for his new Drake collab entitled “For Free,” a downright hilarious name given the fact that the accessories pictured are most certainly not free. In fact, it’s a safe bet to assume they’re the opposite of free, considering a quick Google search of “gold chain link necklace with diamonds rapper” brought me to a site called Trax NYC (not to be confused with Tracks NYC, the commuter-filled cocktail bar nestled deep in the bowels on Manhattan’s always-classy Penn Station) which is selling a Miami Cuban 18-Karat Yellow Gold Chain for a chill $56,253. And that’s without the damn diamonds.

I haven’t heard the song yet, but I have heard reactions aplenty around my office to Khaled’s choice accessory, ranging from “he is not playing” and “I think I might need that necklace” to “fuck the music, it’s the chain.”

Khal, of course, isn’t the first celebrity to rock a sizable gold chain (or two) for reasons that don’t need explaining, but a website called Hip Hop My Way explained it anyway: “Rappers are constantly trying to outdo each other in the jewelry department…. Rapper chains are getting bigger and more expensive and are often laden with diamonds. It’s not uncommon to drop tens of thousands of dollars on hip hop jewelry, and some rappers have their jewelry shown off by others, turning them into goons on social media.”

Some members of the aforementioned goon squad:

NEW YORK - OCTOBER 21: Rapper, writer and director Kanye West attends the "Runaway" New York premiere at Landmark's Sunshine Cinema on October 21, 2010 in New York City. (Photo by Jim Spellman/WireImage)

(Jim Spellman/WireImage)

Kanye West, aka Scowl Chainz

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - AUGUST 26: Rapper Slick Rick performs during the 2012 Boost Mobile & Guerilla Union Rock the Bells Music Festival powered by Blackberry at Shoreline Amphitheatre on August 26, 2012 in Mountain View, California. (Photo by C Flanigan/WireImage)

(C Flanigan/WireImage)

Slick Rick, aka Fuck You Aiport Security Chainz

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 30: Rapper Wiz Khalifa attends the 2013 BET Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on June 30, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic)

Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic

Wiz Khalifa, aka Emaci-Chain

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - AUGUST 27: Rapper Soulja Boy attends the Sean Kingston "Back 2 Life" Listening Session Presented By Flips Audio at Bootsy Bellows on August 27, 2013 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Michael Bezjian/WireImage)

Michael Bezjian/WireImage

Soulja Boy, aka 15 Minutes of Famez Chainz

GULF SHORES, AL - MAY 22: Fetty Wap performs on May 22, 2016 in Gulf Shores, Alabama. (Photo by Erika Goldring/Getty Images)

Erika Goldring/Getty Images

Fetty Wap, aka This Shit Cost More than $1,738 Chain

LAS VEGAS, NV - AUGUST 31: Rapper Flo Rida arrives at Haze Nightclub at the Aria Resort & Casino at CityCenter on August 31, 2013 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Steven Lawton/WireImage)

Steven Lawton/WireImage

Flo Rida, aka Your Mom Really Loves My Music Chains

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - NOVEMBER 22: Recording artist Tyga attends Sean "Diddy" Combs Exclusive Birthday Celebration Presented By CIROC Vodka on November 22, 2015 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic)

Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic

Tyga, aka Lame Chain

LAS VEGAS - SEPTEMBER 27: Rapper Lil Jon arrives at Brandon's birthday at TAO Nightclub at The Venetian Hotel and Casino Resort on September 27, 2007 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Denise Truscello/WireImage)

Denise Truscello/WireImage

Lil Jon, aka 3 Words Chain

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - DECEMBER 15: French Montana arrives at the Chris Brown listening party for 'Royalty' at HYDE Sunset: Kitchen + Cocktails on December 15, 2015 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Unique Nicole/FilmMagic)

Unique Nicole/FilmMagic

French Montana, aka Stop Tryna Make Me Happen Chain

INGLEWOOD, CALIFORNIA - APRIL 03: Recording artist Omarion attends the iHeartRadio Music Awards at The Forum on April 3, 2016 in Inglewood, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images for iHeartRadio / Turner)

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images for iHeartRadio / Turner

Omarion, aka I Miss the Early 2000s Chainz

INGLEWOOD, CALIFORNIA - APRIL 03: 2 Chainz arrives at the iHeartRadio Music Awards on April 3, 2016 in Inglewood, California. (Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage)

Steve Granitz/WireImage

2 Chainz, aka Some Days 7 Chainz

NEW YORK, NY - MAY 19: Hip-hop artist, MC Hammer attends the "U Can't Touch This" mass public lip sync event on May 19, 2016 in New York, New York. (Photo by Mireya Acierto/WireImage)

Mireya Acierto/WireImage

MC Hammer, aka Being Broke Is Worth It Chain

ATLANTA, GA - JUNE 20: Rapper Future attends Birthday Bash 20 at Philips Arena on June 20, 2015 in Atlanta, Georgia. (Photo by Prince Williams/WireImage)

Prince Williams/WireImage

Future, aka Freechainz

LAS VEGAS, NV - MAY 24: Rapper Nas arrives at the Tao Nightclub at The Venetian Las Vegas during Memorial Day weekend on May 24, 2013 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Steven Lawton/FilmMagic)

Steven Lawton/FilmMagic

NAS, aka Chill Chain

LAS VEGAS, NV - MAY 29: DJ Paul "Pauly D" DelVecchio arrives at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino during the resort's Rehab pool party on May 29, 2016 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Mindy Small/FilmMagic)

Mindy Small/FilmMagic

Paul “Pauly D” DelVecchio aka Sit Down Chain

NEW YORK, NY - FEBRUARY 24: Comedienne Sandra Bernhard attends the Purim Ball 2016 at Park Avenue Armory on February 24, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Desiree Navarro/WireImage)

Desiree Navarro/WireImage

Sandra Bernhard, aka Truth Chain