Here’s What R. Kelly Has on His Grocery List

Meghan Blalock

r kelly grocery shopping listMany of us have probably found ourselves haunted by this question at one point or another throughout our lives: Exactly what is on R. Kelly’s grocery shopping list? And now, those demons are gone forever: the true contents of the iconic R&B singer’s pantry have been revealed to us all.
Via a photo that Vulture managed to get a hold of yesterday, Kells’ full grocery list is revealed, and we’re thrilled to report on the treasures it holds. Top of the list is “Tyson dino shape chicken nuggets,” the cornerstone of any healthy grown-ass-man diet. Assuming the list was composed in order of importance, Kells has his priorities in line. Next up is a virtual smorgasbord of desserts, including two each of “Hagendaz mango, lemon, raspberry sorbet,” as well as both chocolate chip and sugar cookie doughs.
Actually, the more we read over this (which we have quite a few times), the more we suspect Kelly is planning some sort of barbecue for his family. Hot dogs, bologna, boneless chicken breast, watermelon, romaine lettuce spears, ground turkey, and lemonade all seem, to us, like the makings of one fabulous meal out on the patio.
However, we find the “go gurts,” “strawberry toaster strudel,” and precisely three bananas a bit harder to explain. Oh! He’s definitely making a fruit salad…. with a side of strudel?
Which just leaves us with one question: how long before he releases his new sure-to-be-smash-hit “Trapped in the Freezer?”