Oscars Nominees Will Receive a $200,000 Worth of Vacations, Breast Lifts, and Sex Toys

Beth Stebner
oscar gift bags 2016 Oscars Nominees Will Receive a $200,000 Worth of Vacations, Breast Lifts, and Sex Toys

Alicia Vikander’s probably psyched about that vampire breast lift. (Getty Images)

We imagine being nominated for an Oscar—then losing—is never a fun experience (we feel you, Leo!), but at least every actor up for a statue this year will get something to soften the blow—a gift bag valued at more than $200,000.

The goods are just as outrageous as the price tag, and include a $55,000 trip to Israel, a 15-day walking tour of Japan ($45,000), $45,000 in Audi rentals, $300 in personalized M&Ms, and a terrifying sounding $1,900 Vampire Breast Lift that involves using your blood to give your cleavage a boost. (Ostensibly, this is only for the nominated actresses, but who knows.)

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There’s also a lifetime supply of skin creams from Lizora, valued at $31,200, a laser skin-tightening treatment from 740 Park MD ($5,530) and, because everyone has vices, a $250 Vaporizer.
But that’s not all. Actors will also get:

  • A Fit Club TV “Ultimate Fitness Package” in a private villa ($6,250)
  • Three private training sessions with “celebrity wellness expert” and host of ABC’s “My Diet Is Better Than Yours,” Jay Cardiello ($1,400)
  • A $250 “arouser” (aka sex toy) for female nominees (again: sorry, Leo)

Oh, and lest we forget to mention, they also get plenty of luxury toilet paper from Joseph’s Toiletries, valued at $275. Celebrities! They’re just like us!

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To be clear: Distinctive Assets, who puts together these luxurious gift bags, isn’t actually affiliated with the Academy Awards. Lash Fary, who’s put the swag together for over a decade, says the bag is the ultimate consolation prize for the night’s losers. “It’s particularly fun to be able to do so when you know it will truly brighten someone’s day.”

By the way, last year’s bag was only valued at $130,000, so the joke’s on you, 2015 nominees.