In our new series, Pregnancy Diaries, we ask expecting women to jot down every pregnancy-related detail of their lives for a week. (Special thanks to New York mag and Refinery29 for the inspo.) Work-related conundrums, struggles with IVF, and a whole lot of nausea, ahead. For the second entry in our series, we have a 29-year-old recruiter from NYC who landed a job offer while seven months pregnant. She’s 38 weeks pregnant with her first child.
Profession: Recruiter for a large social media/tech company
Money situation: We have a combined income of around $185k/yr. I have about $20k left on my student loan and a few thousand bucks on two main credit cards that we use for travel points. We each keep a savings account with a few thousand dollars, just in case. I was also just granted a large amount of stock from my new job that will be available to me at the end of 2017.
How long did it take you to conceive? This pregnancy was totally unplanned but welcomed! I had a terrible experience with birth control pills in the past, so we were only using condoms and the pull-out-method.
Any other details relevant to your pregnancy? Pregnancy has been rough for me and I’m committed to being as honest as possible about my experience. I was sick for about 24-25 weeks — not throwing up, just always on the edge of vomiting (never got that sweet relief!). I was an emotional wreck and dealt with significant depression during that time as well.
9 a.m. — I’ve got the day after New Year’s Day off from work, which is *really* nice but also just reinforces my major baby-brain so I know I won’t know what day it is for the rest of the week. Also, 9 a.m. is my definition of sleeping in, as I try to maintain a decent sleep schedule.
10 a.m. — My partner and I loaf around a bit before we get dressed to go run some baby-stuff errands. The travel system (carseat/stroller) that we asked for was too big for our car’s trunk, so we’ve gotta exchange is ASAP. We also have to purchase any important items that we didn’t receive at my Baby Shower and exchange some things we received multiples of. Off we go!
1 p.m. — We realize we’re starving, so we stop for burgers. For some reason, they shut down the line (“due to a longer than normal wait time”…), so we have to leave. Thankfully, my pregnancy cravings haven’t been serious so I didn’t mind. We head to the mall food court since it’s close by and we’re seriously-very-incredibly starving.
2 p.m. — Finally, we’re starting our to-do list. We walk into the baby-stuff store & see that the line is wrapped around the store (already!?). We walk right back out. My patience has gone down quite a bit the further along I get in this pregnancy.
3 p.m. — We try our luck at getting the paint we so desperately need to get. I’ve been meaning to paint our apartment for about 4-months, but unfortunately my middle name is Procrastination. We’re doing our maternity photo shoot this coming weekend, so now I *really* need to get it done. This store is way less packed—yay! We’ve got paint!
4 p.m. — Off to find something to wear for the maternity shoot! Staying “fashionable” hasn’t been easy as a pregnant lady (for me!). I already had a love-hate relationship with my body, so now that it’s forever-changing and way larger than normal, I just don’t feel my stylish self. I end up finding a simple-but-cute gray maxi dress. It’s form-fitting and something I’d NEVER wear pre-pregnancy. Proud moment!
5 p.m. — Time to head back home. It still amazes me how exhausted I get after a few hours of really simple activity. It’s scary to think that I’m about to enter the perpetual state of exhaustion called Motherhood.
5:45 p.m. — We’re home and ready to loaf again. We start making dinner and figuring out what to watch on Netflix. I likely won’t go to bed for a few hours, but I have to time my night time eating because I’ve got major heartburn nowadays — worse than a did in earlier weeks and it’s absolute torture. Nothing is enjoyable, not even chocolate. NOT EVEN CHOCOLATE.
10 p.m. — I hop in the bed, check my calendar and email for the next day. Somehow Instagram summons me and I get sucked into my timeline, which then leads me to checking all my other social media apps. Almost an hour later, I finally put my phone done and close my eyes.
2 a.m. — I try to drink a ton of water all day and sip some through the night whenever I wake up, which means I basically never stop peeing. Overnight bathroom breaks are the norm for me now. Yes, this makes my sleep quality horrible, but I can’t stand the feeling of dehydration, so I do what I gotta do.
4 a.m. — Up to pee. Again.
Holy shit, I’m tired today.
9:30 a.m. — First day back at work after the holiday. We get free breakfast/lunch/dinner here, so I’m trying to get used to arriving early enough for a hearty first meal. I didn’t have to arrive until 10/10:30am at my last gig. I still don’t have to but hello, free food. I get my breakfast and head to my desk to check email, calendars, etc.
12 p.m. — I have a 1:1 meeting with one of my managers. He’s responsible for hiring me while very pregnant, and also just very awesome all around. I basically had *zero* managerial support in my last position, so this is a nice change.
12:30 p.m. — Second meeting, second manager. (The reporting structure has recently changed, so we’re in a bit of a transition phase.) I’m finally feeling productive now that my To Do list is growing.
2:30 p.m. — I’m trying to get all of my annual check-ups in before baby, so I head to an eye-doctor appointment. It’s raining and windy and cold, and the walk is longer than I’d want it to be but I make the trek anyway in the name of 10k Steps a day. I’m visiting this doctor for the first time and it turns out to be a disaster. They’re not ready for me when I come in, don’t have my pre-filled out paperwork, and then claim I need a referral to see them (I don’t..). I make my way back to the office in the rain/wind/cold and remind myself that I at least got some steps in. That’s a small win.
4:30 p.m. — My work partner and I have a great meeting with some of the design team. We’re brainstorming social event ideas for NYC’s creative/design population — right up my alley!
5:30 p.m. — Time to head home. Nobody gets up for me, the obviously very pregnant person, on the train (which is pretty common!) until another woman comes to my aid. I’d normally ask myself, but I was too tired for any more human interaction in that moment. She’s my savior.
8 a.m. — Regular evening over here. I eat some leftovers that give me insane heartburn, pop some Tums, and get ready to hit the sack.
1 a.m. — Tonight is a shitty sleep night. I’m having trouble sleeping due to Braxton Hicks contractions (“fake” contractions that get you ready for real labor). They don’t hurt, but they’re uncomfortable enough to keep me from dreamland. Hubby is also not feeling well, so his tossing and turning is also keeping me up.
2 a.m. — Same.
4 a.m. — What do you know, more of the same.
8 a.m. — I only ended up getting two or three hours of sleep. Luckily, we’re allowed to work from home on Wednesdays. Back to sleep for another hour or two before I sign on.
10:30 a.m. — My manager cancels our 12 p.m. meeting, so I’m just doing some research and general work for the rest of the day. Can’t complain!
4 p.m. My fiancé and I head out for some more baby errands. We successfully find a new stroller and some other baby things I really wanted for our maternity shoot this weekend. We also stop for more paint supplies and dinner at Panera because #cravings.
8 p.m. We get our rooms prepped for painting tomorrow—moving and covering furniture, prepping all the supplies for my father, who will be coming to help paint in the morning.
10 p.m. Bed time! And praying for a better night’s sleep…
We have an incredible leave policy, but I’m stressed about leaving my post for too long since I only just started a few weeks ago. Ah, the joys of navigating the workplace as a woman.
6:30 a.m. — Much better night’s sleep! Not as good as a non-pregnant, melatonin ridden sleep.. But I’ll take what I can get these days. We lay in bed for another half hour and then I’m off the the races. I like to give myself extra time in the morning because I walk way slower as a pregnant lady. I miss my speed-walking New York stride.
10 a.m. — Finished breakfast. Check out my calendar for the day, write down my daily To Do list & get to it.
1 p.m. — A good friend of mine comes to have lunch at the office. I don’t get to do much socializing since I’m eternally exhausted, so YAY!
3 p.m. — Just made it to my now weekly OB-GYN appointment. Now that I’m full-term, I’ve gotta go every. single. week. Oy! My appointment takes longer than expected. My blood pressure has been slightly high at the beginning of every visit, so we always have to test it a few times. I’m 10000 percent positive it’s because I walk to my appointments so I’m slightly winded when I arrive (it always measures much lower by the end of my appointment!), but now that I’m so far along, the doctor has to be much more cautious of high readings. She’s also making me do a 24-hr pee test this weekend (which will check for proteins in the urine, a sign of preeclampsia—something you *do not* want). All slightly annoying in the moment, but hey, all I want is a healthy kid.
5 p.m. — I’m tired and hungry. I can only make it about three hours before I need to eat again. I saved some fruit in the fridge from this morning to chomp on and can’t wait for dinner (that I hope is waiting for me when I get home).
6:45 p.m. — I got suckered into a work Happy Hour and ended up staying to hang with my team. I contemplated asking for a few shots just to make the bartender uncomfortable—what?! So funny. Anyway, home I go.
7:30 p.m. — Totally forgot I’d be coming home to a freshly painted apartment! Hubs & dad did well and I love the new look. Have not told them that our photographer hasn’t confirmed our shoot yet, so maybe there wasn’t as big of a rush as I thought. Also, I am *really* hoping she confirms soon—I’m getting bigger and more self-conscious by the day.
8 p.m. — I heat up some food & we finally decide to start Stranger Things. HOW DID WE WAIT SO LONG TO WATCH THIS SERIES?! We’ll watch this ’til I *hopefully* fall asleep.
7 a.m. — It snowed last night, therefore I feel obligated to hit the snooze button a few times. I’m hoping it’s not too bad outside — my regular snow boots are excellent but *very* heavy, so I don’t plan on wearing them this season until after baby arrives.
10 a.m. — Breakfast at my desk. I’ve forgotten it’s Friday about three times already today. Baby brain is a real thing, y’all!
10:30 a.m. — I finally submit my Maternity Leave claim at work. We have an incredible leave policy, but I’m stressed about leaving my post for too long since I only just started a few weeks ago. Ah, the joys of navigating the workplace as a woman…
10:51 a.m. — Holy shit, I’m tired today.
3:30 p.m. — I’ve had an eventful day: meetings, team lunch, in-office coffee with a colleague. I have an eye doctor appointment shortly. It’s much closer than my last failed appointment, and I’m praying for success this time around. Honestly, I’m just trying to get all of my doctor appointments out of the wa.. Oh, and I also just ordered some snazzy new specs from Warby Parker and so, I need this new prescription ASAP. I’m also way overdue for contacts, now that I think about it. But as of late, my eyes have been insanely dry/itchy. Pregnancy woes.
3:40 p.m. — I poured myself some gummy bears as a snack and basically got all yellow ones, which is gross. I’d like to think that my non-pregnant self wouldn’t be as disappointed as I currently am. #Hormones, am I right?
5 p.m. — Eye doctor success! This place was closer, super efficient, and got the job done. I ordered a year’s supply of contacts and got my Rx for my new glasses. They say your eyes can change during pregnancy—luckily, mine haven’t changed much more than normal.
6 p.m. — Time for a much-needed manicure. I usually see an awesome talent friend of mine who is a professional nail artist, but she’s booked on shoots all week (go, Ami!!). I head to an old favorite salon of mine to get these gels removed, cut down my nails (baby-proofing!), and have a regular mani.
6:15 p.m. — I haven’t been in the chair long before the nail technician comments on “how big” I am. She also compares me to “how tiny” her 40wk pregnant sister is. I politely reminder her that I’m 5’9” with a fiancé who is 6’5” and that we fully expected to make big babies.
6:20 p.m. — She can’t seem to get the gel off my nails. No idea how that’s possible, but okay. I stop her before she butchers my nails even more. She’s filed and buffed them so much now, they’re pretty much ruined. I end up having to cut them even shorter, so now I have ugly, swollen hands with ugly, super short nails. (Excuse my pregnancy emotions talking, but sometimes all it takes to feel gross is having shitty nails.)
6:30 p.m. — The salon didn’t charge me for the appointment. I head to Starbucks to spend the $13.25 I just saved and wallow in ugly-nail sadness. OH, still haven’t heard from our photographer.
I honestly don’t know how I feel about meeting my kid. I am more nervous than excited—it’s okay to be honest about these things, gals!—and I’m at a weird place where I am totally over being pregnant, but not quite “ready” for this wild baby adventure.
10 a.m. — I got an email last night from the photographer: no photo shoot this morning, but I’m still waiting to confirm *when* it’ll actually happen. As a Virgo, this is really giving me anxiety. I am such a planner.
10:30 a.m. — Since we don’t have to get fancy for the shoot, we decide to loaf around all Saturday. Time to Netflix binge Stranger Things! We also didn’t realize that it’s supposed to snow *all* day. No idea how I missed that—I’m usually weather obsessed. Baby brain? Seems like a great thing to blame.
7 p.m. — Did you think I was joking when I mentioned binging Netflix? I assure you, we stopped to order food and snacks a few times. Still no confirmed reschedule for our shoot.
8:30 p.m. — I finally get in touch with the photographer and we decide to push the shoot to next weekend. At least I don’t have to rush to get my nails fixed! Small victories.
10 p.m. — My heartburn has been out of control lately no matter how mild/bland my food is. I’m someone who is obsessed with spicy food, so this kinda sucks. I hope I go back to normal postpartum. Otherwise, how boring..!? I chew on a few Tums and call it a night.
11:30 a.m. — If there’s one kind of food I love, it’s breakfast food. I could eat breakfast food at any time (I’m more of a savory breakfast kinda gal, but I do love me some pancakes!). It’s Unlimited Pancake time at IHOP so we make the trip despite the lingering crumby weather.
12:15 p.m. — As usual, I over order my food. The further along in pregnancy you are, the less space you have in your body for food. Depressing, I know. The bonus: You can always make two or three meals out of whatever you order!
1 p.m. — I’ve been noticing more and more strangers looking at me in public, likely thinking to themselves, “DAMN, she is pregnant!” I find it odd that pregnancy is a very normal thing, and yet people just can’t help but gawk at you. Like, hello, how do think YOUR MOMMA looked!? Beautiful, yes. But also very pregnant.
2:30 p.m. — Back home with not much to do. Also, nothing to watch because we finished our last binge. I’m planning on “nesting” a bit the rest of the day. I get the urge every now and then, but it’s quite exhausting. As is everything at this point in preggo-ness!
6 p.m. — I’m heading into my 38th week of pregnancy. Time flies! It hasn’t all been fun, but it’s gone very, very fast. Way faster than you could imagine. I have a weird feeling that I won’t make it to my due date for some reason. Tonight is the first time I say that out loud to my partner. He’s excited but I may have sent him into panic mode. He likes to be over-prepared, which is an excellent complement to someone who’s been basically just winging it lately. I honestly don’t know how I feel about meeting my kid. I am more nervous than excited. (It’s okay to be honest about these things, gals!) And I’m at a weird place where I am totally over being pregnant, but not quite “ready” for this wild baby adventure. On the contrary, I’m happy that this is something you just get thrown into. I think this is where someone says “May the odds be ever in your favor…”
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