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For reasons too complex to get into here, most of us are not taught from a young age about the thrills of masturbation—even though it’s likely we’re quite interested in that area well before puberty and may have even discovered how good it can feel on our own. Whether you’re an experienced giver of self-pleasure or want to try it out for the first time, I have some seriously steamy masturbation tips for your next playdate with yourself. While I, personally, and many women I know are well-acquainted with just how fantastic a good solo session can be, I also have a handful of lady friends who say they’ve never learned to pleasure themselves.
In fact, I was so blown away when I learned that one of my close friends had gotten off with male partners, but had never given herself an orgasm that I decided to give her the gift of a personal vibrator. As useful as our hands can be, the assistance of a high-powered, well-designed vibrator like the We-Vibe Touch (which hones in on your clitoris) or the Crave Duet (a personal favorite) can definitely help you cross the finish line without the assistance of anyone else in your bed.
In celebration of the magical gift that is masturbation—thank you, nature, for not making sex exclusively about reproducing—we’re highlighting five very hot, very effective solo sex positions that will give you plenty of pleasure, when done right. Read on for tips and inspiration, and then go ahead and clear your morning, afternoon and/or evening for some well-deserved self-loving.
1. Sexy Bathtime
For the uninitiated, here’s an important fact: Your clitoris is almost always the key to coming. So light some candles, fill up the tub, lie back, and let the faucet run straight onto your clit. (Don’t have a tub? If you have a removable shower head, point the nozzle there instead.)
2. Facedown and Frisky
The floor. Your bed. A couch. All you need for this position is a flat surface and your vibrator. Lying face down, use one hand to tuck the vibe between your legs and position it underneath you at a 45-degree angle (depending on the design and size of the device). Let gravity do the work for you as your weight against the vibrator builds up enough friction to make you climax.
3. Happy Humping
If you’re a fan of girl-on-top sex, you’ll love this solo version of the position. Grab a pillow with a clean case that you can wash later, roll or scrunch it up so that it’s not too soft underneath you, and hold it there by straddling it. While this position can take a little longer because it’s a soft surface you’re grinding against, it can result in a heavenly drawn-out orgasm that’s just as good (or better) as the kind you’d get if that was a human under you.
4. Solo Spoon
Lying on one side, use both hands—au natural or using a dildo or vibrator—to stimulate your clit. This position is particularly conducive to watching porn while you get off (no neck strains here), and the weight of your top leg pressing down on your hands or toy can help add extra friction that can be key to reaching orgasm.
5. One-Handed Wonder
Lie back, cross your legs, reach down and touch yourself to see what feels good. This position is great for beginners who are exploring what works best for their bodies—it’s not too intense, complicated, or intimidating. The crossed legs can help your hands or vibrator stay in place once you’ve found the spot that feels good, and having one arm thrown over your head can help you arch your back to put your pelvis at a more orgasm-friendly angle.
A version of this story was originally published in November 2018.