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Few things feel as decidedly human as makeup sex. For those moments when we’re simultaneously so enraged, so exhausted and so entranced that all we really know how to do is get it on. And since makeup sex is the natural progression of a vast array of conflicts, it pays to have an equally vast repertoire of makeup sex positions to turn to (positions that range from “petty disagreement makeup sex” to “full-fledged argument makeup sex”).
A good makeup sex position isn’t entirely loving. Because let’s be honest—you’re still a little mad. You need a way to express that resentment you’re undoubtedly still harboring for your partner while also demonstrating how much you love them. You love them in spite of that dumb thing they said about The Devil Wears Prada. You love them in spite of their bad opinions about which curtains look better in the room you share together. You love them in spite of their penchant for picking up after you (aw!) and storing your stuff in places you never manage to locate (eek).
Couples’ conflicts are at times, incredibly petty, and at other times, incredibly emotional. Humans are complicated creatures, and fighting is one of the most complicated things we do. The makeup sex that follows these conflicts is, often, as rife with dissonance as the conflicts themselves. But there’s something incredibly beautiful about the ways we can’t help but be so attracted to each other, even when we’re low-key pissed.
1. The Spanking
Slightly more aggressive than classic doggy-style sex, the Spanking is a great option for when you want to go hard—without making eye contact.
2. The Minor Offense
The Minor Offense is incredibly sweet and intimate—the sex equivalent of a post-argument hug. But it also accounts for the fact that a little anger might be bubbling beneath the surface, so the amount of eye contact and kissing that happens is totally up to you and your partner.
3. The Turned Tables
The Turned Tables is really just a classic with a twist—it’s missionary with you on top. If you want to assume control in a way that still feels close and kind of sweet, the Turned Tables is a great way to do it.
4. The Power Trip
Sex shouldn’t really ever be retributive (that’s a slippery slope leading to some seriously weird and harmful power dynamics), but if one partner is feeling particularly apologetic and the other is still a little angry, face-sitting oral makes a lot of sense. Standard oral (lying down, legs spread) can feel incredibly vulnerable, and if one partner is already on the defensive, anything that makes them feel more vulnerable is probably not a great move. The Power Trip allows for that person to get loving stimulation on their terms (it also allows them to avoid eye contact, kisses and other things that don’t feel quite right just yet).
5. The Olive Branch
Equal parts sweet and aggressive, the Olive Branch was practically made for makeup sex. Plus, the eye contact and kissing situation is totally within your control.
6. The Penalty Box
If you want something that feels particularly aggressive, the Penalty Box is a delightful spin on missionary that can deliver just that. Deep penetration, aggressive thrusting and angry eye contact—the Penalty Box has it all.
7. The Power Grab
The Power Grab should only be attempted in contexts where it’s absolutely consensual, as it’s definitely one of the most aggressive positions in this mix. That said, sometimes angry arguments are best resolved through (or at least followed-up by) angry sex—and again, as long as everything is consensual, there’s nothing wrong with expressing your emotions through a little submission and domination.
8. In Detention
In Detention ups the ante on the Olive Branch, adding intensity through hair pulling and contact with the headboard. Instead of solely being on the receiving end of penetration, the bottom partner can push their hands agains the headboard to add some resistance to their partner’s thrusting (the sexual embodiment of a lover’s quarrel, or simply a way to render sex a little more passionate). If you want to take things to an entirely new level, you can bring handcuffs into the mix. That seems like a pretty literal take on makeup sex, but hey—if you and your partner are into it, go forth.