Hi! How have you been? It’s me, Lindsay Lohan!
I know, I know—it’s been forever. I also know you were probably hoping for another naked Kardashian-Jenner Instagram, but they’re not the only ones who can generate a headline with their bare ass or blatant side boob, you know.
Anywayyyy, here I am in Costa Rica and thought it would be cool—instead of posting a pretty sunset or the jungle or a giant margarita (not that I’m drinking it, obvz)—to show you my mostly nude body covered in mud. If I didn’t, you wouldn’t care about my trip, and I want all you to care, TBH. You cared about Khloe’s last vacation.
Volcanic mud clears away negativity, and I really need that in 2016, LOL. I heard it only works if you’re topless and the mud gets shared with 4 million people on Instagram, so here u go!
Anyway, see you all soon!