Lindsay Lohan has been busy lately. She’s at work on a self-help book, or at least she was a few months ago. She chopped off her finger in a boating accident. She video-chatted with fans while Mean Girls played on some weird technology platform called Synatop. There was that time she went out with Kourtney Kardashian. She broke up with fiancé Egor Tarabasov and took refuge on a yacht off the coast of Italy. Then there’s that club she opened in Athens, called Lohan Nightclub, which sounds like something we made up, but is all too true. And don’t even get us started on those refugees she’s been spending time with, or the energy drinks she’s gifting them.
Thing is, through all of this, we didn’t actually hear her say anything. We suppose the Mean Girls video chat people must have heard her speak, but we’re guessing that there were only like 10 people logged onto that, and maybe there was a bad connection, so they didn’t notice something really important. Which is that Lindsay Lohan no longer sounds like Lindsay Lohan, or anyone who grew up New York. In a new video interview with LiLo, she spoke with a jangling patois that can only be described as—affected.
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It’s like that British accent your roommate picked up while doing a year abroad in London, only multiplied by 10, infused with 15 different countries, spun around a few times, and left out in the sun a little too long.
Wait, it gets better: After the Daily Mail covered the perplexing new accent, Lohan tweeted at them, “what should I call my new accent? I’m thinking #LILOHAN.” Burn, for sure—and then, for good measure, she gave them an interview about it. Though she said she didn’t know why she sounded so different—actually, her exact words were literally “je ne sais pas,” because she is cultured!—she blamed the new twang on all of the learning she’s doing abroad. “It’s a mixture of most of the languages I can understand or am trying to learn,” she told the publication of her accent. “I’ve been learning different languages since I was a child. I’m fluent in English and French can understand Russian and am learning Turkish, Italian and Arabic.”
You hear that, world? Lindsay Lohan is fluent in English, and she doesn’t care what you have to say about her accent. Best of luck trying to watch the video only one time.