Every Party Has A ‘Pooper’: The Halloween Candy Boycott

Can you imagine how different your childhood would have been if you were raised in these times — no spanking, no raised voices and now no candy on Halloween. What?!?

Hard-core education website GreatSchools.com, is calling trick-or-treating candy an “unmitigated disaster for parents trying to protect their children from OD’ing” on sugar.” Wow parents it’s one day — pretty sure you can get them back on that vegan diet by tomorrow.

TimeHealthland reports these anal anti-sucrose mommies have conspired together to send their kids off to trick-or-treat with “pre-approved” treat-householders, give away the candy they collect or embody the ” Great Pumpkin” who magically replaces Snickers bars for toys and books instead.

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I think I speak for the children of today when I say, “BOO!”

If you are interested in holding down the sugar intakenutritionists at Clemson Universityrecommend Three Musketeers, Butterfinger, Milky Way, Raisinets, Starburst and York Peppermint Patties as these are lowest in fat and sugar.

But if you’re intent on getting the evil candy as far away from your children as possible why not aid troops in foiling possible terrorist attacks?Since 2007, the Halloween Candy Buy-Back has solicitedfrom trick-or-treaters and shipped it to deployed soldiers. “The troops told us that they use the candy to hand out to kids, and the kids give them intelligence in return, like where the bad guys are, who the bad guys are and where bombs are hidden,” says Carolyn Blashek, the founder of Operation Gratitude, which runs the buy-back.

It’s either that or offer your kids the option of trading their candy for dough.Most dentists pay kids $1 a pound for their bounty. Four years ago when dentist Chris Kammer first put out the word in Wisconsin that he was collecting candy, he received 20,000 lbs. from 300 dentists; last year, 1,700 participated, contributing 250,000 lbs.

After about a day or so of pounding candy I was usually sick to death of it. I would have definitely made a deal with the devil, err…dentist.