Kim Kardashian’s Wedding: for The Love of a Man Or a Party?

Jessica Hoppe

Is it me or does it feel like 14 couples got married this weekend? Or is it just that Kim’s wedding was such anincredible circus it has me nuptially hung over?

True to form Kim turned out the tackiest wedding in history complete with three costume changes, a ring that could feed a small country, a gold crossed altar the size of her backside (well…almost) and a trash bag guest-list (Lindsey Lohan).

Apparently Kim did not get the memo aboutKate Moss getting married just weeks prior. I don’t know much, but I do know that you don’t want to follow Kate Moss’ wedding game, or really at all. Yet even without this unfavorable juxtaposition, Kim’s wedding was the absolute embodiment of my wedding nightmares.

The blatant lack of decorum aside, what frightens me most about the ceremony was the focus. The spectacle of it all just does not ring true. It makes me wonder: do we want the marriage? Or do we just want the wedding?

In many cases the first steps towards the altar are initiated by the female, which could ultimately lead to a massive tulle-ish (pun intended) take-over a la Kim K. I’m pretty sure 26 year old Humphries, who seems to have an IQ of about 80 on a good day, was simply along for the obnoxious ride.

Now, this is not to say that because Kardashian is theKing Kong of divas, I mean she has J-Lo runnin,’ (by the way, do you think there’s a correlation between booty and Diva-dom? Like the bigger the booty the bigger the diva?! Sorry, I digress) the couple is not heartfelt in their commitment to each other. But the $12 million+ ceremony they will reportedlyMAKE money on is, in my opinion, a mockery of the tradition.

But this is also coming from a woman who wants a private ceremony followed by a massive party. And by massive I don’t mean very expensive or any more than 100 people. And I’ll tell you why:

When I was in college I worked at Saks Fifth Avenue, the discount was fabulous by the way. Anyhow one very quiet night I was working in Eveningwear and a woman came in looking for a white dress. She explained to me that she had just gotten married in a private ceremony in New Zealand; just them two and a priest in a tiny church ala JFK Jr. in the middle of the lushest forest I have ever seen. Following their private ceremony they stayed for honeymoon in New Zealand and were now throwing a reception at the Four Seasons to celebrate with family and friends.

The moment I heard her story I knew this was right for me.I do not want to worry about “performing” on my wedding day. I want to stand, not in front of an audience of obligated guests, but in front of my partner and him tell him…the truth. I want that moment—all to ourselves. But that’s just me.

Ultimately, it’s about you. Weddings are a celebration of individuality; your individuality not as a bride but as a couple. It’s an exciting, although sometimes laborous task, to find your story just as you found your love. Just make sure you remember the “you” I’m referring to includes your partner.

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