The Complete Khloé Kardashian Guide to TMI

Rachel Krause

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Khloé Kardashian is the least openly reviled Kardashian (it’s all relative) for a reason: She’s fucking funny. Unlike Kim, who is from another planet, and Kourtney, who seems to exist in a perpetual dead-eyed haze, Khloé is quick. She’s clever. She has real personality. She’s someone you might actually want to hang out and kick it with, given the chance.

That said, one of Khloé’s defining traits is her penchant for oversharing. TMI, if you will. Not the kind of TMI where you mention to your boring friend that you stopped using condoms or that you’re in desperate need of a Brazilian and she’s like, “Ew, TMI!” (Grounds for a friend breakup, in my opinion.) Khloé goes for it. She even has a talk show! JK, not anymore.

But just because “Kocktails with Khloé” was canceled before its time doesn’t mean Koko’s TMI days are over. Interview after interview, Instagram after Instagram, she’s telling you more about her life than you’d ever need to know. Below, 15 of her best overshares of all time. Love you, Khloé, never change.

On her first waxing experience at 13: “I remember [mom Kris Jenner] made me get a facial for the first time, I was like 13, and I guess I’d started having hair under my arms. During my facial, I had someone come and wax my underarms, and I was so terrified because she didn’t warn me! I was like, ‘What is happening?!’ I thought that was part of the facial. It was so traumatizing.”

On the demise of her camel toe, which she named Kamille: “Now that I’ve lost weight, I swear my puss has lost weight too, which I did not know that was an option.”

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On her preference for black men, in conversation with Pauly Shore: “I’ve never seen a white penis, so if you want to show me yours I would like to see it. I’ve never seen one though.”

On airplane sex, via a blog post titled “Just the Tip: I Rated the 3 Wildest Places I’ve Gotten Down”: “Doing it on a private plane is great, especially when there are other passengers on board. It’s part of the thrill! I walked into the bathroom first and then he followed, so it wasn’t exactly stealth, haha!!! Everyone obviously knew what was going on, and when I walked out, they asked if we had fun, LOL!!!”

On how to give the best blow job: “The secret to a great blow job is saliva, saliva, saliva; and use your hands at the same time. And if you can’t have saliva, make sure you drink a lot of water.”

On penis size, or lack thereof: “I’ve dated someone, and we made out. And over the pants, I did not really feel much of anything so I just ended the night.”

On her preference for black men, again: “I have a type. I’ve never been with anybody but a black man…. I lost my virginity [to a black man] really, really young. I was like 14 or 15.

On losing her virginity: “It’s not funny to lose your virginity! It’s weird and you’re scared and it hurts and you don’t know what will happen. I was 15, and he was an older guy who wasn’t a virgin. I don’t really remember it hurting, but I do remember that I just wanted to get it over with.”

On hearing mom Kris Jenner and stepfather Bruce (now Caitlyn) have sex: “I was playing hide-and-go-seek when I was younger, and I fell asleep under my mom’s bed, because no one came to find me—that was also sad—and I woke up to the bed shaking. I was too scared to leave, so I had to wait for the whole thing. The moaning … it was honestly wild.”

On sister Kim Kardashian’s pubic hair situation: “I know Kim is completely bare, and now she says she wishes she still had a lil’ somethin’ going on, but she lasered it all off.”

On her “puffy pussy”: “I’m not embarrassed by it … but everyone else is. It’s the blueprint to my.… It’s a puffy puss! You know how some girls can wear leggings and you don’t see anything, and I’m like, ‘Where is it? Like where the fuck is your vagina?'”

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On her sisters’ vaginas: “My sisters have had kids, and there’s a vaginal lasering [treatment] to tighten. In my household, all they do is talk about this vagina lasering. It’s like their discussion back-and-forth.”

On staying friends with French Montana after their breakup: “I talked to him recently because his best friend was just murdered.… When you fuck someone, why would you not? Like, if someone has seen my vagina, I think it’s okay that I say hi and give him a hug hello.”

On Kris’s relationship with Corey Gamble: “It’s disgusting. It’s awkward. Why is a 32-year-old, or whatever he is, why is he talking to a 50-fabulous-something woman? That’s just—and I say it to her all the time—weird. Hearing them have sex is wild, and I’m traumatized.”

On her sexual preferences, via a blog post titled “The Fetish Scale—From Fair Game to Fu*k No!”: “Sadists get off on pain, which I can appreciate—I keep a rhinestone whip by the side of my bed.… I’ve seen some intense documentaries where people are in cages and shit like that, which is not for me. Don’t even try.”

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