Screw a husband, this woman needs to find herself a stylist. ICYMI, Katie’s Bachelorette premiere dress looked like a lacy interpretation of a Flamin’ Hot Cheeto and I will not rest until either her current stylist apologizes or a Cheetos brand deal is solidified.
Ever since she showed up on night one of Matt James’ season of The Bachelor wielding a vibrator, Katie has been an undeniable fan favorite. Personally, I don’t get the hype—I’m getting major Pick Me Girl energy—but I don’t necessarily drink the Bach Nation Kool-Aid, so you can’t go by me. If you’re reading this, Katie, I’m a bitch. I’m sorry! But, perhaps not as sorry as your stylist should be.
Everyone knows the Bachelorette is typically dressed in Randi Rahm Couture, but whether or not that means she’ll look good is always a total crapshoot. In the past, we’ve gotten a pretty even mix of hot gowns and hot messes, so I’m sad to report that Katie’s debut dress definitely falls into the later category.
Dress aside, Katie looked beautiful. She was having an incredibly good hair day (Like, Kate Middleton With A Fresh Blowout level good) and her makeup was perfectly glowy. This is not Katie slander; it’s merely an in-depth examination of what appears to be Randi Rahm attempting to recreate everyone’s favorite flaming-hot snack food in couture form.
Why, dear Lord? Why did they turn this girl into a walking Cheeto?
And before you say I’m being dramatic, please gaze upon this photo of Flaming Hot Cheetos and compare them to the dress in terms of color and texture:
Out of all the scandals to grace the Bachelor franchise, I daresay this might be the biggest to date. Who did this to her? How do we make sure he or she gets their comeuppance?? I’m pointing my finger straight at Cary Fetman, the show’s notorious stylist who has already been called out for doing our girl dirty.
In the trailer for the new season, Fetman styled Katie in the world’s fugliest lilac prom dress, featuring visible boning and cheesy silver appliqués. To add salt to the wound, Fetman then layered a Be A Katie slogan tee over the gown in an attempt at “girl next door” vibes. The result was “girl who has no idea how to dress,” but I mean, maybe she also lives next door? IDK how your neighbor dresses!
Fetman also styled Katie in a purple leather pencil skirt for yet another promo shoot and fans were positively irate after calling out the fact that the skirt was worn backwards. Yep, backwards. Does Cary just not give a damn?! With these previous faux pas in mind, I can only assume he was snacking on some Cheetos during his lunch break when the sartorial inspo for tonight’s look struck.
The only bright side of this story? It’s possible this dress really will help Katie find true love. If a man can get past her terrible wardrobe, he’s bound to be the real deal! That said, I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a couple of things. First, that Fetman gets the boot before the season is over. Second, that Katie gets a Cheetos brand deal. Give our queen your flaming hot coin, Cheetos!