Ben Just Revealed What J-Lo Actually Said To Him At The Grammys—AKA His ‘Wife’s Work Event’

Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck
Photo: Getty Images

Grammy date! Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck at the 2023 Grammys took the Internet by storm. The Argo director’s face became a meme as soon as the cameras showed him and his wife at “Music’s Biggest Night.”

Ben’s distressed face made the rounds on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok with many social media users commenting on it. “Ben Affleck is every husband dragged to a work thing by his wife,” one person tweeted. Another added: “Ben Affleck is me as a kid being dragged somewhere I didn’t want to go.”

So what caused Ben Affleck’s face to be like that at the Grammys? Read more to find out.

Why did Ben Affleck look sad with Jennifer Lopez at the Grammys 2023?

Jennifer Lopez Ben Affleck Grammys

Image: Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for The Recording Academy

Why did Ben Affleck look sad with Jennifer Lopez at the Grammys 2023? Well, it was because he was tired. Jennifer Lopez first made an appearance this evening at the Grammy Awards when she stepped out onto the stage to present the first award of the night, Best Pop Vocal Album which went to Harry Styles for his album Harry’s House. The couple had front row seats where they couldn’t avoid the camera at all. They were shown dancing and singing, but there was one moment when Grammys host Trevor Noah was doing a bit and the couple was seen, seemingly arguing.

Ben finally revealed the actual conversation between him and his wife at the Grammys in The Hollywood Reporter’s March profile of the actor. “I saw [GRAMMY host Trevor Noah approach] and I was like, ‘Oh, God.’ They were framing us in this shot, but I didn’t know they were rolling,” Ben explained. “I leaned into her and I was like, ‘As soon they start rolling, I’m going to slide away from you and leave you sitting next to Trevor.’ She goes, ‘You better f**king not leave.’ That’s a husband-and-wife thing. I mean, some of it is, I’m like, ‘All right, who is this act?’ Like, I don’t keep up. My wife does, obviously. And yeah, it is your wife’s work event.” He continued, “And I’ve gone to events and been pissed off. I’ve gone and been bored. I’ve gone to award shows and been drunk, a bunch. Nobody ever once said I’m drunk. [But at the Grammys] they were like, “He’s drunk.” And I thought, that’s interesting. That raises a whole other thing about whether or not it’s wise to acknowledge addiction because there’s a lot of compassion, but there is still a tremendous stigma, which is often quite inhibiting. I do think it disincentivizes people from making their lives better.”

A source close to the couple told Entertainment Tonight on February 6, 2023, that Ben was up working on some projects before the awards show. “Jen and Ben had a fun date night out at the GRAMMYs, but they have both been very busy working on several projects, and Ben was feeling tired,” the source said. “He wanted to go and support Jen, but he wasn’t his usual self.”

The source continued, “Jen had a great time and wanted Ben to be excited to be there, but she understood where he was coming from. Jen knows Ben is a great husband and they still made sure to have a good night together.” The Hustlers star, “knows how supportive Ben is towards her and her work, but also gets that Ben is more of a homebody, and it isn’t his thing to be out at events all the time.”

According to TikTok user @almostannna, who sat next to Bennifer at the awards show, on February 8, 2023, J-Lo was actually showing Ben the viral memes as the awards show was going on. “J.Lo showed Ben Affleck the phone and was like ‘Oh my god honey look at this meme circulating about you,’” the TikToker says in her video. “[Ben] was like, ‘Oh god this again,’” she claims he responded. “Like he knew during the performance that he was a meme but he also chose not to change his expression, and I love how unbothered that is,” @almostannna claims in her video. She also recalled J.Lo and Ben were “lovey dovey” throughout the whole show.

A source told Entertainment Tonight on February 9, 2023, that the newlywed couple isn’t actually that bothered by the memes. “Jen and Ben are both aware of the memes of Ben circulating,” the source says. “She had shown him a few photos that night and he just brushed it off. He is not fazed by what the internet has to say about him.” The source added, “They are not paying too much attention to them. Jen actually thinks some of the memes are funny.”

The viral moment appeared to get even more viral once lip readers interpreted a moment that the couple was on screen. “Stop,” the “On the Floor” singer told her husband, according to a lip reader who was commissioned by the Daily Mail in an article published on February 6, 2023. “Look more friendly. Look motivated.” He was said to have responded “I might,” per the interpreter.

Page Six also looked into the situation and asked a body language interpreter to see their take on the situation. “The normal A-list routine is for the guy to whisper what looks like sexy sweet nothings into his partner’s ear at red carpet events while the woman smiles or giggles to signal a passionate relationship,” body language expert Judi James explains.

“Jennifer’s response to Ben’s whisper looks much more firm and knee-jerk, though,” she notes of the on-camera moment. “Her head whipped around to suggest what he had said shocked her. One of her hands grabbed her own knee while the other clutched Ben’s leg in what looked like a control gesture. As she speaks, she seemed to tap in on the chest with the back of her hand, which looks like a reproachful checking gesture rather than a passionate one.”

Judi pointed out the “lack of after-smiles” after the confrontational moment. “No glances with knowing grins or nods to Trevor Noah,” she said, referring to the Grammys host who sat next to the couple in the audience at one point in the show. “No doubling up in shared joke laughter.”

During the Grammys broadcast, which took place on February 5, 2023, a TikTok of the couple also showed how Ben reacted to the songs that were performed on stage versus his wife. “Ben Affleck wants to go home Jen. Everyone in this video looks like they are vibing to a different song 😂,” a Twitter user said. Though J-Lo seemed to poke fun at her husband’s meme-ry. After the awards show, she posted a picture on Instagram with the caption, “Always the best time with my love, my husband 🤍”

Some netizens poked fun at the Batman v. Superman actor’s face and his behavior. “Ben Affleck is every introvert everywhere. You can see his batteries draining in real-time. Man is already at 23% 🪫 #GRAMMYs #SaveBen,” one person tweeted. Ben’s reputation of being an internet meme is ongoing. During the pandemic, he was seen throwing away a cardboard cutout of Ana de Armas. And don’t forget the iconic and viral cigarette photos and Dunkin’ coffee runs.

Months before the Grammys moment, The Hustlers star used her OnTheJLo newsletter to break the news that she and Ben had a surprise wedding in Las Vegas on July 17, 2022. She described the wonderful details of the wedding: about how they arrived and how it was all so sudden for her.  “Last night we flew to Vegas, stood in line for a license with four other couples, all making the same journey to the wedding capital of the world,” she wrote on July 17, 2022. “Behind us two men held hands and held each other. In front of us, a young couple who made the three-hour drive from Victorville on their daughter’s second birthday—all of us wanting the same thing— for the world to recognize us as partners and to declare our love to the world through the ancient and nearly universal symbol of marriage.” She signed the newsletter, “With love, Mrs. Jennifer Lynn Affleck.” The couple married for a second time at Ben’s estate in Georgia later on August 19, 2022.

True Love by Jennifer Lopez

"True Love" by Jennifer Lopez

Image: Courtesy of Celebra.

For more about J-Lo’s life, check out True Love by Jennifer Lopez. The 2014 memoir covers the “Jenny on the Block” singer’s career and personal life, from her start as a dancer to when she became a mom of two twins with her now ex-husband Marc Anthony. In the book, which includes more than 200 personal photographs from J-Lo’s never-before-seen collection, the Selena actress writes about how “she confronted her greatest challenges, identified her biggest fears, and ultimately emerged a stronger person than she’s ever been” to become the pop icon we know today.

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