After years of rumors, Jay Z finally admitted to cheating on Beyoncé. In a candid interview with The New York Times, the 47-year-old rapper opened up about his marriage and how his infidelity was a result of going into “survival mode” emotionally.
The rapper landed on the topic of his infidelity after discussing his recent relationship with therapy, which he said has helped him manage his anger and actions. Jay Z revealed that he’s become much more in-tune with his feelings after he began seeing a therapist, who helped him understand the meanings behind his emotional outbursts.
“I grew so much from the experience,” he said. “But I think the most important thing I got is that everything is connected. Every emotion is connected and it comes from somewhere.”
Prior to seeing a therapist, Jay Z explained that he would “put on a shell” to protect himself from people seeing his pain and insecurities. “You don’t want me to see your pain. So you put on this shell of this tough person,” he said. “Knowing that and understanding that changes life completely.”
Though Jay Z didn’t reveal where his emotional stress came from, he admitted that he went in “survival mode” because of it. While in survival mode, the rapper said he shut down emotionally, which eventually led to actions he regretted, such as losing a connection with his wife and eventually cheating on her.
“You have to survive. So you go into survival mode, and when you go into survival mode what happen? You shut down all emotions. So even with women, you gonna shut down emotionally, so you can’t connect,” he said. “In my case, it’s deep. And then all the things happen from there: infidelity…”
The interview is the first time Jay Z has spoken about his rumored infidelity with Beyoncé since rumors first swirled in April 2016, when Beyoncé released her most recent album, Lemonade. The album, which makes numerous references to an affair, is believed by fans to depict Beyoncé’s emotional journey with her husband’s cheating and her eventual forgiveness of him.
Though we might never know what happened between Beyoncé and Jay Z, the rapper recent words shine a light on what may have occurred, as well as the importance of going to therapy.