The iPad Inspires Outrageous Male Fashions

Sarah

The highly anticipated Apple iPad is finally due out this Saturday. The innovative tablet computer (basically a giant iPhone without the phone capabilities) has created quite a stir in the tech community since its announcement in January. But, will it have the same effect on the fashion world? While women can fit the handy device into almost any handbag, insiders are predicting a slew of iPad inspired fashions for men– think iPad sized jean pockets, huge cargo vests, and man purses (yup, there are rumors of murses coming into style).

Some of these may sound like outrageous jokes (and we hope they are). But, after seeing men commit some seriously awful fashion faux pas in the past, iPad jeans may not be far off. Here, we note some of the worst male looks to date.

1. Spiky hair
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This may have been acceptable in decades past, but now it is pretty firmly agreed upon– no one likes the uber-spiked hair, guys. You end up looking like a 90s boy band member or Ben Stiller in Theres Something About Mary. Trust us, no one wants to run their hands through your hard gunky hair (except maybe Snookie).

2. Leggings
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Leggings have become a go-to for girls everywhere– but do we need to start worrying about guys wearing the look too? We know trends from the 80s are coming back, but does Axl Roses leg wear have to be included? We doubt dudes would want to see other dudes walking around in shiny form-fitting leggings– and neither would girls.

3. Fur or animal print
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Its hard enough for girls to pull off fur or animal print without going overboard– and it’s even harder for guys. We will never understand why certain musicians insist on wearing these looks. We get it– you have the money to buy yourself a big fat fur– but, does that really mean you should?

4. Muscle tees
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Our mothers and grandmothers always taught us that no one wants to buy the cow when they can get the milk for free. Thats why girls know it’s not necessary to show all of their assets to look good– and the same goes for guys. You may be pumping iron at the gym and working on those biceps, but you do not need to tear the sleeves off a perfectly good shirt (or worse, buy an already sleeveless one) to show off your “guns.”

5. Guy-liner
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Women would rather not be with a guy who is prettier than them. In light of this, no matter how beautiful your blue eyes may be, they do not need to be accentuated with eyeliner. No girl wants to have her boyfriend borrow her makeup, or wear any for that matter. We like our guys groomed, not glam.

6. Hawaiian shirts
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Vacation is not an excuse. Hawaiian shirts are never acceptable. These tacky, flowered tops should be left for ironic comedies and grandpas who live in Florida. So, unless youre Vince Vaughn, please keep the Hawaiian shirts hidden in the back of a closet somewhere.

7. Overly tattooed or pierced
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Some girls may like a guy with a piercing or tattoo. What can we say– a lot of girls love the bad boy. But, when you start to see more ink than skin, or every spot on your face is double pierced– it’s time to slow down– and probably get some of those bad boys removed. Too much body art may scare even the hardest of rocker chicks away.

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