My friends and I are always on the quest for the next great place to meet guys. We thought we had exhausted all our options when we realized we still had unexplored territory: the Apple store. Apparently a couple years ago Cosmo proclaimed the Apple store to be the best place to meet men. This instilled the hope in single women across the country that they could, indeed, meet the love of their life among a sea of MacBooks.

I volunteered to be the guinea pig of the experiment, as my iPod conveniently happened to crash around that time, and I set up an appointment at the Genius Bar. I chose the time and location strategically: 8PM (most non-bartenders would be done with work) at the Soho store (5th Avenue being too touristy and the Chelsea store being a hot spot for dude-on-dude flirting).

The selection did not disappoint. Here they were; the cute, bright young men of New York City, the ones you always see on the street but never encounter at the bar or club that same night. Checking his email in the corner, picking out a new software program…everywhere I turned there was the potential man of my dreams.

However, I soon realized that something was off. The men seemed transfixed, mesmerized even. They had the kind of glassy looks on their faces you typically see in movies about cults only in this case, the objects of their affection were the shiny toys in front of them. The only person who seemed vaguely interested in flirting was Paul, my assistant at the Genius Bar; that is, until he discovered that I had been downloading music illegally and reprimanded me for trying to single-handedly bring down the entire music industry.

Verdict: Apple is a religion, and it’s best not to approach men in their place of worship. Next time, I’m choosing a neutral zone….a park perhaps? Preferably one without Wi-Fi access.