How to Have Great Phone Sex, According to Adult Film Star Jessica Drake

How to Have Great Phone Sex, According to Adult Film Star Jessica Drake
Photo: Cierra Miller/STYLECASTER.

Whether you’re in a long-term, long-distance relationship or you’re just briefly separated from your partner, there’s no need to suffer solo in a cold bed in 2020. Instead, use technology to your advantage and create some memorable masturbation adventures! Sexting is a great way to get hot and heavy with your partner when you can’t link up IRL, but phone sex via video chat really kicks things up a notch. Not totally sure how to have phone sex without feeling awkward AF? Don’t worry—I’ve got you covered.

When sexting, you and your correspondent both have a precious few moments to think about the cheeky one-liner, descriptive paragraph or naughty photo you’re sending before actually pressing ‘Send.’ You don’t want to keep your partner waiting, of course, but taking a beat before immediately replying can ensure you send the perfect saucy sext. During phone sex, though, things move at a faster pace: whether you’re on a video call or just listening to the sounds of one another’s voices, you have to act fast with what you say, show and do to try and mimic the experience of real-life sex. If done right, your phone sex can be just as incredible as your in-person hookups—and have your partner desperate to reunite face-to-face as soon as possible.

Not sure where to start? Read on for my top tips on how to have the best phone sex of your life.

1. Keep it Simple

Phone sex can be intimidating at first, but it doesn’t have to be a big production, nor do you have to block off time in your Google Cal for an appointment called “Phone Sex w/ Bae”. Don’t overthink it: call your partner at bedtime or catch them first thing in the morning. Lay in bed and tell them how much you miss them and what you’d like to do with them if you were with them. 

2. Silence Can Be Golden

It doesn’t always have to be a running monologue—don’t feel like you need to follow a phone sex script to get things going! If you aren’t much of a dirty talk fiend IRL, your partner won’t expect you to magically become a pro via video chat, so relax. Instead, let them hear your breath quicken as you get turned on. Don’t be afraid to speak up if that’s what turns you on, but if words turn to moans, that’s music to their ears. 

3. Get Visual (Even a Little)

If you aren’t ready to video chat right away, you can absolutely start by taking a few pictures and sexting them. They don’t even have to be nudes, but be creative! Wear something they long to see you in, show them their favorite body part, et cetera. Make sure the lighting is good and the shots are in focus, but don’t go crazy with filters. When you finally do start up the video call, you don’t want the visuals to be drastically different than the photos you sent prior.

4. Use Toys or Props

Don’t be afraid to Skype with your partner and give them a show, then proceed to enjoy some mutual masturbation. Channel your inner porn star and go all the way, if you want to. Grab some toys and use your favorite lube to get slippery. Don’t think you need to be using a dildo if that’s not your thing—there are tons of fun toy options, from cute vibrators to kinky anal beads and more. Pick what you like and show it off; your confidence will turn on your partner, and you might even find that being bold turns you on a bit, too!

5. Do It Even If You’re Not Far Away

When you’re separated, phone sex is a great way to connect, but you don’t need to be apart to make the most of some virtual sexy time! Is your partner in the same room, glued to their work email or Twitter feed? Send them one of your sexiest shots and remind them that there are better things to do with their phone. Perhaps suggest taking some pictures together—POV shoot, anyone? 

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