How Smooth Are Your Pick-Up Lines?

Jessica Hoppe
How Smooth Are Your Pick-Up Lines?
3 Start slideshow

People always say “you don’t meet people in bars” — what they mean is date-able people. So I ask you, if you’re a city dweller where else do you meet them — Starbucks (a.k.a. the new library/thinkers pick-up bar) or some pretentious art gallery? I mean we’re not all going to find the man of our dreams at a baby shower like my sister (Jealous!).

Since I’m not into the online approach (too much opportunity for subterfuge), I’m forced to get in there and do it the hard way or asNew York Magazine describes,”the awkward thrill of a booze-fueled, face-to-face first encounter.”

If you choose this route, shouldn’t we examine the best strategies and test just how seductive our pick-up prowess really is? Thankfully the mag recently performed an interesting (and hilarious!) experiment to test just how smooth OR offensive daters can be. Here’s the experiment:

We approached ten (seemingly) unattached strangers at two phenomenal bars. We sat them down in pairs, recorded their chats, and then called each of them a week later for the lowdown.

Click here for all scenarios and read below to find out how a gay man successfully wooed a straight woman. (Steal this trick, fellas! It worked on me.)

Diana Ebanks, marketing manager, and Robbie Tanis-Evon, sales associate

8:39 p.m. at Southern Hospitality

Robbie: I like your dress.
Diana: Thanks. It’s, um, really comfortable.
Robbie: It’s terribly cute.
Diana: What are you doing here?
Robbie: Celebrating a friend’s birthday. What about you?
Diana: Ladies’ night out.
Robbie: Looks like trouble, if you ask me.
Diana: It is trouble. Once a week. At least.
Robbie: Are you going out to the beach this weekend?
Diana: I’m going to the Bahamas next week.
Robbie: Shut up!
Diana: So I went bathing-suit shopping this weekend.
Robbie: What’d you find? A bikini?
Diana: Nothing so far!
Robbie: What’s your plan B? Topless?
Diana: J.Crew is my backup plan.
Robbie: I would say go for topless.
Diana: What happens in the Bahamas stays in the Bahamas.
Robbie: Well, you hope!

A week later?…

Robbie on Diana: She’s a sweet gal, but I’ve been with my boyfriend for 21 years. She’d be a great gal to go on vacation with.

Diana on Robbie: I loved him! When it’s the right time, I hope I end up with someone like Robbie — but straight.

Sophia Heinke, student, and Robert Bell, dining manager

8:38 p.m. at Hot Bird

Robert: What are you doing in Brooklyn tonight?
Sophia: I’m meeting with some friends that are over there.
Robert: That’s beautiful. Friends and possibilities!
Sophia: I mean, they are a couple, and I’m just their friend.
Robert: Well, the friend always has more opportunities.
Sophia: Ah, okay.
Robert: So, Sophia, do you have a boyfriend? Girlfriend?
Sophia: No, I don’t.
Robert: Well, that’s a terrible loss. Let me give you a kiss on both cheeks, yes?
Sophia: Okay.
Robert: Yes, come here. Okay, good. What actually motivates you? What is the engine of emotionality that brings you to this moment right now? Are you interested in being alive?
Sophia: I’m interested in being with my two friends over there.

A week later?…

Sophia on Robert: He was a little bit drunk, and I was not. So that was a little bit weird. He kind of came a little too close. He was a bit overwhelming.

Robert on Sophia: She was fantastic.

[Images Via New York Magazine]

0 Thoughts?
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Sophia Heinke, student, and Robert Bell, dining manager

While I LOVE a stylish man, Robert's look strikes me a bit like he's trying too hard. After reading the convo that sense is confirmed. The smarmy faux-euro double kiss is gross for a first meeting, followed by the pseudo intellectual question: "Are you interested in being alive?"


Brett Taylor, project manager, and Sophia Wiedeman, comic artist

These two were so meant for friendship it was a bit painful to read the spark-less banter. No wonder she made out with someone else later in the evening!

Brandon Nelson and Ali George, both lawyers

These two are both lawyers so the immediate arguing is probably their version of foreplay. But Brandon's insecurity about being a Brooklynite and attitude towards Manhatanites lost him a shot at a cute girl. Confidence is key fellas. If you can't get over where you live and think everyone's judging you, move!

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