To Gwyneth Paltrow, Sailing & Greek Are Crucial Life Skills

Alyssa

We’ll admit, we love some Gwyneth Paltrow around these partswe have Country Strong sing-alongs, we drool over her flawless red carpet looks and we all get a little giddy when her GOOP newsletter lands in our inboxes each week. It’s obvious that Gwynnie lives quite the charmed life (and is a little out of touch with reality) but she and her rock star hubby Chris Martin‘s qualifications for a tutor for their kiddies border on delusional.

According to the Daily Mail, the Coach brand ambassador is on the hunt for a genius who will travel with her family and teach her two children, Apple and Moses. The paper reports that the candidates “must be able to teach the youngsters Ancient Greek, Latin, French and Spanish, on top of giving sailing and tennis lessons.” He or she must also be “able to play two instruments.” Looks like Gwyneth is on the hunt for someone as multi-talented as she is, but does such a person even exist?

Here’s the good news: The Chosen One will receive travel expenses, the use of a London flat and a pretty hefty salary, so if you’re an out of work multilingual, seafaring tennis pro, you know where to send your resumeor you can tweet it at her brand new Twitter account.

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