He may choose his words wisely, but it’s his nonverbal communication that gives him away.
If someone were to tell you to, “go over there and flirt with that guy,” you would inherently know what to do – you’d communicate through body language that you’re interested. Signals, like smiling, hair flips, a coy lean forward would send the crystal-clear message that you want him. How you interact with each other, from the first date to the breakup coffee (or honeymoon, depending on how things go!), you’ll be using these nonverbal cues to communicate with each other.
Learning to recognize a guys body language sooner rather than later can be one of the most important skills you master. On a good date, you’ll have confidence that he’s into you, and on a less-than-great date, you’ll be saving yourself from the embarrassment (he’s clearly bored by your “that time I got drunk with my boss” story)—or even clued into the fact that he’s not worth the second drink.
Instinctively, we know that a guy’s expressions and mannerisms are windows into his mind. But deciphering these cues can be daunting, even maddening. Studies have shown that we may not be as good at reading them as we thought—not to mention the culture you grew up in can influence the way you read expressions. Every person has their own set of body clues and putting them together can be like solving a jigsaw puzzle. It’s always a good idea to be armed with basic knowledge of nonverbal cues, here’s a rundown of the most common people give off during dates.
Positive Body Language (a.k.a. He’s Into You):
- He gives you long periods of sustained eye contact.
- He moves or leans in closer to you.
- He occasionally looks down and away out of shyness or nervousness.
- He keeps his arms relaxed and uncrossed.
- He gives you real, genuine smiles (as opposed to fake smiles, which are mouth-only. A genuine smile is all in the eyes).
Negative Body Language (a.k.a. He’s Just Not That Into You):
- He keeps moving or leaning away from you.
- His feet stay pointed away from you, or towards and exit.
- He keeps his arms and/or legs crossed for long periods of time.
- He continually rubs or scratches his nose, eyes, or the back of his neck.
- He keeps looking away from you, with his eyes going to the side (as opposed to down).
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