Walking the streets of New York City, a woman will more than likely get verbally harassed by men who want to “get a piece of that,” “get your number,” or “take you out.” I hear it all and I’m sure you have to. You don’t have to live in a big city like New York to get attacked by catcallers with lame pickup lines. My favorite pickup was when a guy saw me walk by, hung up his phone and said, “Girl, let me ‘mack’ it to you…” You just know I had to stand there and hear his babble. I mean, it made a great story to tell my friends.
You see, catcalls or pickup lines are like that dress you try on in a size that is just a tad too small but you hope you can squeeze into — because it’s too freakin’ cute to pass up. Huffing and puffing and fiddling with the strap, zipper or whatever, you try to squeeze into that frock. But it doesn’t fit. It doesn’t work. Because a dress that isn’t the right size will not fit, just like a pickup line that is too lame and raunchy will not reel me in – EVER.
I need to be wooed in the right way. You know, you need to the utter words that will sync with my mind, body and soul. “Seduce my mind and you can have my body. Find my soul and I’m yours forever.” I need to have that butterfly moment in the pit of my stomach. I need to feel like you just might be the shoe I had been searching for to go with that special outfit.
Am I being unrealistic here? I just know that screaming at me from across the street will not make me want to go on a date with you. And Lord knows I haven’t been on a date, um, in forever.
This one time I decided to respond to a catcall. “Hey! How you doing?!” I yelled back to a guy who thought he could sweep me off my feet with a crappy one-liner. He yelled back and then shut up. My friend who I was walking with stared at me in disbelief that I actually responded. (What can I say? I’m bold like one of my favorite shoes: red mary jane platform wedges.) Sometimes, you need to give a dog a little attention to shut it up.
I’m beginning to realize that life is about chances and not giving a hoot about what other people think. So while bad pickup lines will forever be that rejected dress on the clearance rack, a good one-liners or witty flirtation could go a long, long way. (As in that statement piece that catches your eye and eventually because a stand-by in you wardrobe or your jewelry box.)
I’m thinking about giving the bad mack-attackers a chance. What do you think?
Dara Adeeyo is a happily single female and writer who blogs at DarkBerryBeauty.com. Every two weeks she’ll be delving into her life as a boyfriend-less young adult. Follow her at @dadeeyo for daily single girl musings in bite size.