So, A Cousin Greg Sex Toy Exists For Your, Ahem, Next Sexsession

Summer Cartwright
So, A Cousin Greg Sex Toy Exists For Your, Ahem, Next Sexsession
Photo: Courtesy: Warner Media.

If you, like me, have an affinity for lanky brunettes who are more likely to walk into a glass door than they are to catch a football that’s thrown at them, then I have good news for you: A Cousin Greg sex toy exists, and uh, it’s pretty f*cking high-tech.

Succession fans out there know (and love) Cousin Greg, played by Nicholas Braun, for his awkward tendencies, hilarious one-liners, and all around relatable mishaps. Nothing makes you feel more hot and bothered than watching a 6-foot-7 adult man fumble his words and sweat at the sight of a pretty lady, after all. It didn’t take more than two seasons for this character to become the very unlikely sex symbol of the show (sorry, Kendall) and to celebrate the beginning of season 3, an extremely innovative vibrator was made on his—and I guess viewers’—behalf.

Once you get over the initial shock of the toy’s creation, the collab between Lovesense and CamSoda (if you’re reading this while on your work laptop, maybe don’t click on the last link like I did) is genuinely impressive. See, the toy uses extremely advanced and aptly named “teledildonic” technology to sync with the audio of the show to trigger vibrations whenever Cousin Greg is on screen. A truly hands-free watch experience.

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Even Braun himself has heard about this toy. He told Vanity Fair that a friend forwarded him the press released about it, and told the outlet, “I think, uh… Is it a compliment?

“That’s such an intimate thing to do with yourself—or with another person participating or watching,” he added. “So the fact that Succession and Greg can be on their mind as that’s going on, it’s not something that any of us expected.”

To use the toy to its fullest extent, all you need to do is sync one of Lovense’s teledildonic toys to whatever audio device you’re using to watch the show. Once they’re connected, you can do with it what you will!

Nora Sex Toy

Courtesy: Lovense.

Lovense Nora Vibrator

Lovense Domi 2

Courtesy: Lovense.

Lovense Domi 2

Lovense Ferri Magnetic Panty Vibrator

Courtesy: Lovense.

Lovense Ferri Magnetic Panty Vibrator

Now, rest assured, Braun is in fact appreciative of the toys’ invention.

“Thank you to whoever invented this,” he told VF at the end of his interview. Thank you indeed. Now, where can we start a petition for this storyline to happen to Greg The Egg next season?

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