Chiron Retrograde Horoscopes: Pop an Advil—This One’s Gonna Hurt

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Chiron Retrograde Horoscopes: Pop an Advil—This One’s Gonna Hurt

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On July 8, Chiron in Aries goes retrograde, bringing with it all the healing and tragedy of a really excellent Greek dramedy. Like a really long episode of Parenthood, or the exquisite pain of checking your bank balance after getting drinks with your friends. Anyway. Chiron is a small planet that used to be thought of as one of Saturn’s moons, but it turns out that Chiron just has a really eccentric orbiting pattern and does weird shit. For a while, people even thought it was an asteroid that was taking its sweet time meandering the galaxy. Now, it’s defined as a planet that no one really talks about, because if humans can’t neatly define it, we don’t like to talk about it. (See: the ocean! No one has any idea what’s going on out there.)

I identify with Chiron because I, too, orbit unpredictably. And like Chiron, the Greek God that this planet is named after, my dramatic nature and OCD makes me feel like I’m in Perpetual Suffering. In Greek mythology, Chiron was a healer/philosopher centaur (dope) who couldn’t heal the poisoned arrow that continued to plague him in his immortal life (less dope). He’s commonly referred to as ‘The Wounded Healer’ which will now be my new alter ego.

Alright, so Chiron is going retrograde—FINE OK WHATEVER. Get to the good stuff—what’s going to happen? Since Chiron is in Aries (April 2018 – April 2027, we love a slow queen), this means that our assertiveness and confidence may waver when knowing how to heal our deep wounds or address psychological and physical patterns of wellness.

Chiron will remain in retrograde until December 12, which means that this is not a planetary shift that can be easily ignored. And really, it shouldn’t be. As humans, we all have a responsibility to lessen the suffering of others—but how often do we take it to heart and do the real work of healing ourselves?

Chiron Retrograde Horoscopes: Pop an Advil—This One's Gonna Hurt

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Aries –

With Chiron in your sign, you may be feeling this indecision more than most. As someone used to taking charge, this is going to be emotionally taxing. In order to not lose your mind, try engaging more socially with others or exercising. It’s easier to think of creative solutions when you disrupt your environment, and have others to bounce ideas off of.

Chiron Retrograde Horoscopes: Pop an Advil—This One's Gonna Hurt

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Taurus –

Focus less on the material this retrograde and do the harder work of looking inward. It’s startlingly easy to pin down solutions like, “if I made more money…” or, “if I had a better car…” etc., but typically, those things only give us a momentary satisfaction until we’re onto the next want. Look up stoicism, and consider what it means to get what you need and reject the urge to upgrade.

Chiron Retrograde Horoscopes: Pop an Advil—This One's Gonna Hurt

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Gemini –

It’s time to face the pain head on, Gemini. Don’t be afraid to rely on support systems and loved ones, but recognize there are times when you will feel lonely or alone. No one is the answer to your suffering. You know this—but you need to live it. Being alone and learning how to take care of yourself will be the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but it will also rank as one of the best decisions you’ve ever made.

Chiron Retrograde Horoscopes: Pop an Advil—This One's Gonna Hurt

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Cancer –

Letting go is something all signs have to practice and re-learn, over and over. It’s not something that comes easily to most people, and your sign most of all. Whatever emotional turmoil is causing you pain—let it wash over you, then let it go. Don’t bury that shit in the sand. Letting go is a conscious choice that we make whenever we choose to do the healthy, loving thing over instant gratification. It’s a deep breath and going on a walk instead of drinking. It’s love over the continued punishment of railing against the truth.

Chiron Retrograde Horoscopes: Pop an Advil—This One's Gonna Hurt

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Leo –

Your hospitable nature makes you want to solve others’ problems—use that to your advantage. How often do you take your own advice that you so willingly give to others? It might help to imagine yourself as your best friend. What would you tell them to do in your place? Then do that thing. This degree of separation plays to your strengths as a loving friend, and just may change the game.

Chiron Retrograde Horoscopes: Pop an Advil—This One's Gonna Hurt

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Virgo –

Don’t be afraid to make the unsexy choice, if that’s what makes you happy. Moving back home, going forward with a painful breakup—basically choosing to do something for your mental health or safety. It can feel shameful and embarrassing, but it’s really one of the bravest things you can do. Once you move past the fear of judgment from others—that’s when you get to experience true freedom. Imagine answering questions without that knot of guilt in your stomach. Get comfortable telling people, “You know what? I have no idea.”

Chiron Retrograde Horoscopes: Pop an Advil—This One's Gonna Hurt

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Libra –

This retrograde, it’s time to relearn how to listen to your own conscience. You already have all the answers, and diluting your own intuition with other people’s well-meaning (and usually terrible) advice is a recipe for always feeling vaguely unsettled. It can also lead to a burning resentment that burns with the intensity of corporate fluorescent lighting—i.e. that shit will make your eyes bleed. I like to think about it this way: Look, if I make this choice and it sucks, at least I’ll have no one to blame but myself!

Chiron Retrograde Horoscopes: Pop an Advil—This One's Gonna Hurt

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Scorpio –

Time does not heal all wounds, but it eases the sting. And really, time is often the best tool in our arsenal. The thing is, there are certain memories and truths that we will carry with us forever and ever. Remembering that there are no quick fixes and recognizing that sometimes you’ll remember your grandmother and have to sit down for a minute because you’re so sad and you miss her—it’s all part of love.

Chiron Retrograde Horoscopes: Pop an Advil—This One's Gonna Hurt

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Sagittarius –

Your restlessness is a symptom of something bigger, Sagittarius. This retrograde, consider sitting down with no distractions, and write down all your worries or problems. Seriously. Like, list them out. Or if you hate writing, record them in an audio message. Give it a day or two and then re-read or play it back. I want you to hear yourself in the words. Make yourself your own therapist for a second. Don’t judge, just listen. Give yourself that.

Chiron Retrograde Horoscopes: Pop an Advil—This One's Gonna Hurt

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Capricorn –

Don’t limit yourself and stick to the same narrative, Capricorn. There’s so much emphasis on being a #BOSSBABY or whatever that we’ve all become hellbent on becoming successful to the detriment of almost everything else. Nothing is worth your happiness or integrity. You are allowed to go through this world doing what you want. If you don’t want that promotion because it means working 50+ hours a week on things you don’t care about, turn it down. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for what you want out of life.

Chiron Retrograde Horoscopes: Pop an Advil—This One's Gonna Hurt

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Aquarius –

It’s time to redefine failure and your own expectations. What can start off as healthy goals and values for yourself can morph into something else over time. If you are feeling down or sad most days, maybe you’re asking too much of yourself. Try to avoid using words like “should” or “must”. If you consistently feel like you don’t have enough hours in the day—maybe you’re just trying to do too much.

Chiron Retrograde Horoscopes: Pop an Advil—This One's Gonna Hurt

Image: Haley Longbottom.

Pisces –

Try using systems instead of goals, Pisces. As a creative, it’s really challenging (and often disheartening) when you want your muse to go along with your calendar. If you put an emphasis on “doing the work” rather than “achieving the thing,” you give yourself more room to expand, and feel pleasure in the work itself rather than the end result. Changing this mindset will be the beginning of something incredible.

There you have it, Wounded Healers. It seems trite to end with something generic like, “Be nice, because everyone is fighting a harsh battle, etc.” but it’s also true as hell. Something that feels a little less bullshitty is trying to reconcile that everyone is trying their best. And it’s going to look different for everybody. That doesn’t mean we have to put up with toxic behaviors or being overcharged for a subpar omelet, though. It just means that we should all consider how painful it must be, to have a poisoned arrow stuck through the heart. We’re never done healing.

Love, love, love.

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