Honestly, After Reading Cardi B’s Deposition We’re Even More Obsessed With Her

Aramide Tinubu
Cardi B
Photo: Shutterstock.

Just when we thought the “Wish Wish” rapper couldn’t get more iconic, Cardi B’s deposition details prove that she’s even more legendary than we could ever imagine. Though you were probably distraught by her courtroom drip that always includes a gorgeously tailored outfit and a luxe wig–you should probably know that Cardi is in the middle of a $5 million lawsuit. A man had accused her of using a photograph of his tattoo on her mixtape without his permission.

People really do anything for clout.

As a part of the lawsuit–Cardi was deposed back in April,  which essentially means she had to give her testimony about the events that led to the case. Some judge who apparently loves us–unsealed Cardi’s deposition and now she all get to delight in the things that she said. Before we give you the best parts of this testimony, we want you to remember that Cardi is under oath when she says this. So to begin, at one point, a lawyer asks Cardi how often she goes to California. The Bronx native responds, “I go there a lot now.” The lawyer asks why. Cardi responds, “Work reasons.” But, the lawyer was still not satisfied. They asked, “Yes, why?” Cardi’s response, “Because I’m Cardi B.”

LMAO, we are screaming.

Though this was a delight. It’s still not the best part of the deposition. At one point, Kulture’s mama goes on the most thrilling monologue. She essentially declares that she’s a queen and she shouldn’t be f*cked with.

I mean I’m a gangster. Like, I feel like I’m a gangster, like, I’m a gangsta.
You know. I’m a stand-up girl.
You know what I’m saying?
I’m a good girl.
But you know I have a lot of heart. So I consider myself a gangster.
I’m from the hood. And that’s what people from the hood consider themselves.
I have a heart of a lion; so that’s what I am.
Like, I’m not a pretty girl,
or I think I’m a pretty girl but I’m not like this, this pink pretty girl.
I’m like, the Buttercup, you know?
There’s three powerful girls.
There’s Blossom, and then there’s Bubbles and there’s Buttercup, the green one.
That’s me. That’s who I am.

We don’t deserve her.  In case you are perplexed by the Power Puff Girls reference–Cardi has often called herself Buttercup (her husband Offset even has a tattoo of the feisty green cartoon character).

She’s perfect.

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