Model, actress and entrepreneur Brooklyn Decker is living proof that multitasking a family and two jobs is possible—and you do not have to compromise your morals to get it done. Decker is currently starring in the Netflix show Grace and Frankie, which airs its fifth season on January 18. She also is a cofounder of Finery, an app that acts as a smart closet à la Clueless, which landed on WWD’s 40 of Tomorrow list, celebrating driving forces in the fashion industry.
Aside from her career, she is a mother of two children, Hank, 3, and Stevie, 1, which automatically makes her a boss. At an event for Pure Leaf‘s launch of a new line of teas, Decker tells StyleCaster about why she thinks self-care is bullshit, and how the fashion industry is changing for the better.
“My point with self-care is that I think women, specifically, have relationships. They have friendships. They have careers. They’re wearing a million different hats, so to add one more thing to that to-do list to make you feel like you’re failing I think is not healthy,” says Decker in a red floral maxi dress by the Vampire’s Wife and emerald Manolo Blahnik “Hangisi” pumps.
Leaning into the discomfort—the change—is OK. You’re not failing yourself when you’re doing that.
The first time Decker talked about her opinion on self-care was at Sophia Amoruso’s Girlboss Rally in November, where she called the routine “kind of bullshit.” It’s an opinion she still stands by.
“For me, right now, my life is completely chaotic. I have a 1-year-old and a 3-year-old and two jobs,” Decker says. “I’m going to shelf self-care for now. Knowing that if I work my butt off right now, there’s going to be a day—a time—where I can a take a step back and really give myself that time. Leaning into the discomfort—the change—is OK. You’re not failing yourself when you’re doing that. Delayed gratification is undervalued.”
It is certainly understandable for someone who has worked as a model, actress and, now, a tech founder to set aside self-care, while still recognizing and appreciating its value. As someone who was a Sports Illustrated model since she was 19 years old, Decker knows how some aspects of the modeling industry can push aside self-care, with no intention of revisiting it until it is too late. Fortunately, she found that out early after a pep talk from her dad, which switched her juice-fast lifestyle to one filled with a balanced diet and exercise.
“When I was modeling, the fact that my size was not acceptable for a lot of people is very telling about what fashion was at that time. It’s so much better. It’s exponentially different,” Decker says.
When I was modeling, the fact that my size was not acceptable for a lot of people is very telling about what fashion was at that time.
For Decker, seeing the fashion industry become more diverse is exciting. She credits social media, which helps holds brands and people accountable, for a lot of the change. “All of these individuals now have a voice and can hold the fashion industry accountable, so if someone acts inappropriately, or if someone does tell you that you’re too large or you need to duct tape your breasts or whatever it is, now, there’s an accountability that wasn’t there 10 – 15 years ago,” she says.
It is relieving that there are the Brooklyn Deckers of the world who want to empower women, change the way we shop and have survived the scrutinizing modeling industry in the days of little-to-no social media accountability.