The hazards of Spanx


Last night I went to see some live jazz with a good friend of mine. The band was amazing and the young lady who was singing was decent. The crowd loved her and she sure did know how to scat. Unfortunately, during the whole 90 minute set all I could focus on was the clear and present indent in the middle of her stomach.

Otherwise known as The Dreaded Spanx Line.

This is most definitely one of the little known advertised hazards of wearing Spanx. They can’t hide everything and they are super tight. So while you’re trying to slim down your hips or bottom by wearing one of these:

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you’re neglecting the unsightly stomach fat that is pouring over the top of the band of the Spanx like a brimming muffin top.

Now, of course the model in the above photo appears to not have an ounce of fat on her and would probably benefit from wearing a fat suit, not Spanx. That’s what I love about “minimizers” … they always show women who don’t need them!

For example. Do you think this girl really needs to worry about how chunky her butt is?

nude shaper thumb The hazards of Spanx

And how about this girl? She’s in the ad showing off Spanx’s new Slim-Cognito.

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I can see her collar bone from space!

I’m sorry I’m digressing.

Anyway, yes the jazz show was a great time but unfortunately I was distracted by the Spanx line on stage shimmying and swaying to the music.

Personally I don’t wear Spanx because they cause a ledge of back fat on me that could serve cocktails. So I just stick to granny panties when I have to slim things down under a dress.