When you have really, really good sex, you know it. But just in case you wanted to see just how epic your bedroom activities actually are, here are a few signs that you’re doing it right:
1. You Have to Replace Your Mattress Every Year
There’s an actual imprint in the middle of the bed where you guys spend the majority of your time. If only your mattress could talk…it would probably scream, “YES!” on repeat.
2. You Buy Your Condoms and Birth Control in Bulk
Safe sex is imperative, so you’re stocked up in case of the apocalypse—or at least a particularly long snowstorm that forces you to create your own entertainment indoors.
3. Your Phone May As Well Be a Sex-Advice Hotline
Whether your best friend is trying to turn up the heat with her husband or your sister needs some tips on how to wow the new guy she’s seeing, your phone blows up so much for sex advice that you should start charging a dollar a minute.
4. You Have More Sex Toys Than Your Cat Has Cat Toys
It’s important to have an accessory for every occasion. In fact, you have so many toys in all shapes and sizes that some of them actually could double as cat toys (which becomes problematic for you and Mittens…)
5. You Have Enough Sexy Lingerie to Last You Every Day of the Month
Plus, you pretty much rep every major brand. Even if the rest of the world can’t see how much you change up your unmentionables, your partner sure can.
6. You’ve Tried Every Position in the Kama Sutra
It took major time and dedication, but you made it through each and every twist, spin, and pose in the sexual bible.
7. Most of Your Furniture Pulls Double-Duty as a Sexual Jungle Gym
Others see a couch, you see a sex bench. They see a bathtub, you see a wet ‘n wild rendezvous waiting to happen.
8. You Spend More Money at Babeland Than You Do at the Grocery Store
Who needs food when you’re having so much great sex?
9. You Have Morning Sex Just as Much as You Have Night Sex…and Afternoon Sex
You’re too busy having mind-blowing orgasms to know what time it is.
10. You’ve Reenacted Every Scene in the Fifty Shades Trilogy
Your closet is your very own red room, and your accessory chest could actually put Christian Grey to shame. You even have your very own contract, signed, sealed, and delivered.
11. You’re a Master Masturbater
Hey, just because there’s no one around to get it on with you doesn’t mean you can’t have an amazing orgasm. Who says your sex life has to include another person at all times?
12. You Keep Lube Handy Pretty Much Everywhere
Nightstand, bathroom, purse, jacket, whatever. If you need to jumpstart a quick session, nothing helps you get straight to business like some handily placed lube.
13. You’re Usually Grinning from Ear to Ear
With all that great sex you’re having, there’s not too much time for stress and anxiety.
This article originally appeared on Women’s Health.
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