March Madness 2014 is about to be leashed upon the world, which means most likely at some point in the very near future your office will be drowning in conversations about brackets and bets. And if you’re anything like us, you probably couldn’t care less about such goings-on.
MORE: A Comprehensive Guide to D-List Stars
We have nothing against basketball per se, we just don’t think it’s worth throwing money away betting on the unforeseeable outcomes of games, which have so many variables and cannot possibly be predicted. (Besides, we’d rather throw our money away on something more permanent, like a shiny new bag.)
MORE:13 Annoying Things You’d Do if the Internet Didn’t Exist
So in the spirit of not wanting to participate in the office March Madness betting insanity, we’ve come up with 10 things we’d be more comfortable betting on. Check ’em out!
1. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West won’t make it past a year of marriage. Willing to bet: $50
2. Miley Cyrus will give a “revealing” interview to “60 Minutes” within the next six months. Willing to bet: $25
3. Newly pregnant Scarlett Johannsson will launch her own “lifestyle company,” probably centered around babies, in the next six months.
Willing to bet: $150
4. As much as we don’t want it to be true, Lindsay Lohan, who allegedly got drunk in January, will probably go back into rehab within the next two months.
Willing to bet: $200
5. Recently reunited Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez will get engaged within the next year. Willing to bet: $50
6.The just-announced Backstreet Boys 2014 reunion tour will either sell out completely or get canceled because of poor ticket sales. Willing to bet: $500
7. We will blow through the second season of “Orange Is the New Black” in less than 24 hours. Willing to bet: all the money
8. Despite some arguments to the contrary, street style will just continue getting more and more popular. Willing to bet: $100
9. Beyoncé will win every Grammy in 2015. Willing to bet: all the money, again
10. The number of cat videos on the Internet will officially overtake the number of puppy videos. Willing to bet: $500