Wait, What?! A Guy in Maryland Has Eaten Nothing But Pizza For 25 Years

Kristen Bousquet

SM/Pizza -03/07/01- Chesapeake Beach, MD- Pizza from Vic's I

Honestly, we’ve heard our share of curious diet stories, but this one probably takes the, um, cake:  There’s a dude in Maryland who has eaten nothing but pizza for the past 25 years. Gross-slash-yum!

His name is Dan Janssen, and he told Vice that he literally has consumed nothing but pizza every single day of his life for 25 years. And it’s not just a slice a day, Either: the 38-year-old admitted he typically downs an entire 14″ pie himself! As for toppings, Janssen—who’s a vegetarian but doesn’t like vegetables (totally logical)—prefers plain cheese pizza.

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“I never get sick of it. If I go to one pizza shop or another brand, it’s like eating a completely different meal,” the woodworker told Vice.

So why, exactly, is he only subsisting on pizza?  “I used to eat ‘regular food’ like every normal American, but when I was 15 or 16, I made the decision to become a vegetarian based on ethical reasoning. I still loved the taste of meat, and I still love it to this day, but due to my beliefs, I gave it up,” he said.

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We’re no nutritionists, but we’re pretty sure there’s an abundance of other foods suitable for folks who gave up meat. (It’s also worth noting that, In the Vice article, Janssen also details some childhood trauma he endured that centers around meat, but you can read that for yourself.)

Obviously, eating the diet of every 7-year-old’s dreams comes with some pretty serious downside: Janssen told Vice that he’s got diabetes and low blood sugar, and sometimes finds himself blacking out on the kitchen floor and has even blacked out while driving only to swerve off the road and total his new car. Regardless, he swears that, otherwise, he’s in good shape.

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“I must say, even though I sound like a horribly unhealthy and fat person, I’m not. I’m thin. I have tons of energy, and I feel great every day, so there might be something to the exclusive pizza diet.”

We’re not betting on it, but we are annoyed that Janssen has a fiance, because there’s a single mom in England consumes up to 50 cans of Diet Coke every single day, and everyone knows that nothing goes better with pizza than that. Talk about a match made in junk-food heaven.

You seriously have to head over to Vice right now to read the rest of the interview with Dan about his fascinating diet.