Strange adult man Kanye West, age 38, appeared—like an apparition!—on last night’s Met Gala red carpet wearing, among other things, pale blue contact lenses in his eyes. When asked to explain this unsettling aesthetic choice, he responded simply, “Vibes.”
The vibes came through strong; the vibes also complemented his head-to-toe ensemble of camel suede ankle boots (Saint Laurent, $895), tattered jeans (Fear of God, also $895), and a bedazzled denim jacket (custom Balmain, priceless).
Please recall that this isn’t the first time West has opted for the silver-eyed look—he showed off a similar set on “SNL” last February while performing “Wolves.” The aforementioned “vibes,” from what I gather, are that of a wolf; they are the kinds of vibes that howl at the moon. I get it.
But I have a potential business idea to go along with my unconditional understanding. Kendall and Kylie have Kendall + Kylie, Khloé has Kybella, Kourtney has Manuka Doctor, Rob Kardashian has Arthur George (socks), Kim and Kris enjoy shared ownership of the entire world—I do not want Kanye to miss the boat on Kontacts, a branded opportunity poised to beat out 1-800-CONTACTS as the lens purveyors of choice. Kontacts by Kanye will put 1-800-CONTACTS out of business.
JK, I hope to God it doesn’t happen. I order from the latter frequently, and its customer service is incredible. I can’t imagine that any customer service offered by known ranter Kanye West would be halfway decent. So until the official Kontacts project gets underway, refer to the old standby for all your “vibes”-eyes needs—the FreshLook Colorblends look great. (Don’t have a prescription? Willing to go blind in the name of all things Kanye? Here, you idiot.)