Jersey Shore Beauty Fails

Megan McIntyre

In case you’ve been busy writhing on the floor post-punch at Headliners, Jersey Shore is the number one pop culture phenomenon of the decade. True, the decade is only two weeks old but Jersey Shore is even catching on in Hollywood. Stars are partaking in their own guido/guidette worthy makeovers. Recently Jersified: Alyssa Milano and Michael Cera. writer Lisa Chudnofsky got her own pouf courtesy of Snooki herself.

This fist-pumping and nickname generating MTV opus has peppered more conversations of mine lately than has the healthcare debate. Want to arm yourself with the all the info you need for the watercooler convos on Fridays? Pour yourself a tall glass of Ron-Ron Juice and let’s break down the beauty fails of Jersey Shore.

First, we have a typical day on the beach with the gals.


The girls of Jersey Shore, left to right: Snooki, JWoWW, Sammi

  • The Acrylic French Mani I just can’t “vibe” the acrylic faux nail situations. And the French manicure adds insult to injury. I’d like to see Snooki follow Sammi’s lead and stick to natural nails with a pretty pink polish.
  • Loads of Liner Yes, it’s the summer and yes, you’re wearing your Ed Hardy best. But Snooki, you’re on the beach, doll. Summer makeup is all about taking it down a notch.

  • Obviously Penciled-On Brows
    Overplucking can lead to permanent sparse brows. JWoww would do well to better match her eye pencil to her brow shade and use tiny hairlike strokes to simulate real brows.
  • Scraggly Ends Sartorially, Sammi needs some advice, but she’s doing okay in the beauty department–with the exception of her flat-ironed to death ends, which are dying for a trim. Just an inch or two would increase volume and movement, giving the impression of healthier hair.

For evening, the gals really go all out.


The girls dolled up for a night out. Left to right: JWoWW, Jolie, Snooki, Sammi

  • Highlights JWoWW can certainly lighten up her strands with a highlight. But her dark base lends itself better to a bold caramel or perhaps honey. Platinum streaks are too much of a contrast.
  • Nude Lip It should be a rule that your lipstick should never be lighter than the shade of your actual lips. A darker hue would look more natural on Snooki.
  • Pouf The pouf has actually grown on me; perhaps it’s because Snooki rocks hers with aplomb. But for the average beauty bear? Beauty fail. Leave ratted up ‘dos in the ’60s, where they belong.
  • Tanning Salon Tans The Situation educated America recently about the virtues of a GTL (gym, tan, laundry–of course) night. Snooki recently told Jay Leno she thinks everyone should have a tanning bed in their homes. All this, despite the statistic that you’re 75% more likely to get skin cancer if you use start using tanning beds before age 30.

What’s your favorite Jersey Shore beauty fail? Tell us in the comments! And don’t forget to try on Snooki’s pouf for yourself in the virtual Makeover Studio.

Contributed by: Senior Beauty Editor Amber Katz

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