When it comes to wellness, Gwyneth Paltrow has many golden (see also: questionable) ideas up her sleeve. And when it comes to an improved sex life and Kegel-like physical practices, she has rocks up her nether regions, and is advising that you do the same.
Yes, you read that correctly. Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop shop is now a purveyor of $66 jade eggs, which can be boiled just like a regular ol’ chicken’s egg we paupers have for brunch. The only difference is that instead of then eating it, a jade egg then gets inserted into your vagina. But wait! Not so fast—after you boil it, you need to clean it, do a ritual, set an intention, insert it (it will probably fall out, but don’t get discouraged!), and once removed, please do keep it in an altar because vagina eggs are sacred, as you already know.
Goop’s resident vagina egg expert, Shiva Rose, recently explained this phenomenon in the Goop newsletter: “Jade eggs can help cultivate sexual energy, increase orgasm, balance the cycle, stimulate key reflexology around vaginal walls, tighten and tone, prevent uterine prolapse, increase control of the whole perineum and bladder, develop and clear chi pathways in the body, intensify feminine energy, and invigorate our life force,” she said. Sounds good to us! Fans apparently love them too, which could explain why they are currently sold out on Goop’s website. When they’re back in stock, however, PLEASE heed the instructions that come with your vagina egg, per the website (we’d hate to see what might happen otherwise, tbh).
But wait? What if it gets lost or stuck? Is the $66 refundable? Rest assured, this will not happen, Shiva says (thank heavens). “These ones have a hole drilled in them, which you can then thread with unwaxed floss, to make it easier to take out, and to generally ease any anxiety about it.” Oh, good. A jade egg and another use for floss! We can always count on Gwyneth.