On most days I’m glad I was born a girl—pressure to procreate, period cramps, and society’s perception of aging notwithstanding—but every so often I suffer from pangs of male-sex envy that have nothing to do with life’s Big Stuff. Namely? When I take a good, hard look at my husband’s face and realize I’ll never, ever have eyebrows like him. Thick, slightly untamed, subtly unified, his are the brows that—up until recently—just weren’t acceptable for women to have, and if they did, they’d get waxed and tweezed into oblivion as soon as it’s age-appropriate (shout-out to little Lourdes Leon.) I wish I had those brows.
I know, I know: Eyebrows are in, and I might feel differently in five years, but I’m convinced that my own recent habits—swearing off tweezing entirely, using a spoolie to brush my brows up, and exploring the wide world of beauty products created to darken and thicken—have vastly improved the strength and symmetry of my entire face, so naturally I want more. But that more, to me, isn’t Cara Delevigne’s thick yet perfectly groomed brow, but rather Joe Jonas’ overgrown hairs, or Drake’s abundance of rogue strays.
I’m not alone in my man-brow envy—cool-girl beauty line Glossier recently introduced its buzzy Boy Brow product, a creamy wax formula that promises to thicken and groom without the overdone appearance so many other treatments give, and while I do appreciate the effort, the fact is I still don’t have bushy, statement-making, I-don’t-give-a-fuck eyebrows that men are allowed to have.
It’s gotten to the point where the first thing I notice about a dude is his brows, and I’ve become slightly obsessed with stalking pictures of male celebrities to see whose eyebrows I’d want most. After careful consideration, here are 27 examples of perfect man-brows that not only make me (very) jealous, but have me considering drastic measures like slightly imperfect eyebrow extensions.