Apparently, My Peroxide Blonde Heroes Are All Male Celebs

Cady Lang
Apparently, My Peroxide Blonde Heroes Are All Male Celebs
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After I began bleaching my hair about six months ago, I’ve been obsessed with finding various shades of bleach blonde: ice-cold, silvery-gray tones on sparkly platinum blonde hair, beige strands the color of pale wheat with edgy rootiness at the base of the scalp to highlight just how processed the hair is, creamy pure-white-blonde shades that made my scalp tingle with the thought of the kind of double process it would entail. The more processed and unnaturally bleached the blonde looks, the more I like it.

I always screenshot a picture of any blonde color I covet so that I can immediately text it to my colorist and also to my long-suffering friends who are well-acquainted with my peroxide obsession—and a recent purge of my phone’s photos revealed that a lot of my blonde ambition is being fueled mainly by male celebrities, the chief front-runner of which is Justin Bieber, which is actually somewhat discomforting to me as I am the antithesis of a Belieber.

Honestly, I’m not sure why I’ve subconsciously elected celeb males as my unlikely peroxide blonde heroes. Maybe it’s the fact that while peroxide blonde is hardly natural on anyone, it’s accepted as unapologetically unnatural on men. Roots also tend to look a little longer, darker, and grittier when you have a very short haircut—and somehow tend to be more socially acceptable for men. When was the last time you heard someone say something shitty about a boy’s roots?

I personally would like to attribute it to the fact that every man I’ve seen rock bleached blonde keeps his brows heavy and dark—further emphasizing the contrast between his natural hair and his heavily processed ’do. It’s SO good and it’s why I’ve taken to letting my brows run bushy and rampant since I started bleaching my hair on a regular basis.

In case you’re looking for a little peroxide inspo yourself, I’ve rounded up all of my favorite bleached-blonde boys—from Lucky Blue Smith to the Biebs, these are the boys whose hair color I covet.

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Lucky Blue Smith is the male model of the moment, and it's undeniable that his platinum pompadour plays a major factor in his major visibility right now.

Photo: Getty

Seriously, these are Targaryen levels of peroxide blonde here.

Photo: Getty

Zayn Malik's silver-gray hair is what peroxide dreams are made of. Not a hint of brass in sight and in stark contrast to his dark scruff and brows—major bleach envy.

Photo: Getty

The beauty of bleached hair is that you're simply one toner away from most colors; Zayn, wise man that he is, knows the power of a good toner. Here, he's tinted his very rooty hair (I'm into it) with a delicate pink hue, which looks edgy and cool as fuck.

Photo: Getty

Have you ever seen a creamier pale blonde than Justin Bieber's hair at the 2016 Grammy Awards? His little brother Jaxson gets first runner-up for best natural blonde on the red carpet.

Photo: Getty

So blonde and yet with such dark roots. Bieb's dark brows proved a strong contrast to his enviable hair color.

Photo: Getty

Pharrell, he of the ageless face and shorts suits and large hats, recently bleached his hair pale blonde, and I am here for it. In this photo, he's serving me major Kurt Cobain vibes (another very unnatural male blonde) with his sunglasses and women's Chanel jacket.

Photo: Getty

When Jared Leto cut off all his luscious ombré Jesus-esque waves, I felt a slight pang of sadness. Then I looked at his perfectly pale platinum hair and quickly got over it.

Photo: Getty

When Jared Leto debuted platinum hair at last year's Fall/Winter shows in Paris, he wasn't the only one to hit the peroxide; Kim Kardashian also debuted a platinum blonde 'do, but I think Jared wore it better.

Photo: Getty

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