Hi, my name is Chloe, and I sweat. A lot. Wow—look how close all of us are now! My family calls it The Curse: some bad spell cast upon my great-great-great grandfather centuries ago that turned generations of my family into sweaty swamp creatures. For my dad and my brother, that means perpetual full-body sweating—the red-faced guys whose faces perspire when they eat. But for me, all of my sweat is funneled directly to my underarms, meaning truly insane, leaking-faucet-level sweat, even in winter, and especially in nervous situations. (Sorry, Alex Reese, for sweating through my shirt when you held my hand in 9th grade.)
Yeah, it’s glamorous, and yes, I am beautiful. However, my lifelong battle with hyperhidrosis (i.e. stupid-high levels of sweatiness) has made me an expert in two things: not giving a fuck, and also knowing which deodorants really work to keep me dry and B.O.-free, and which do little more than sprinkle my pits with rosewater and false hope. And since nobody should spend two decades testing out shitty deodorants like I did, I went ahead and rounded up the ten best deodorants for sweaty, smelly human beings, from roll-ons and sprays, to the crunchiest of natural formulas—all of which truly work. So click through to see them all, and get ready to hold hands with someone you have a crush on without soaking your Hollister shirt to your waist.