Hi, my name is Chloe, and I sweat. A lot. Wow—look how close all of us are now! My family calls it The Curse: some bad spell cast upon my great-great-great grandfather centuries ago that turned generations of my family into sweaty swamp creatures. For my dad and my brother, that means perpetual full-body sweating—the red-faced guys whose faces perspire when they eat. But for me, all of my sweat is funneled directly to my underarms, meaning truly insane, leaking-faucet-level sweat, even in winter, and especially in nervous situations. (Sorry, Alex Reese, for sweating through my shirt when you held my hand in 9th grade.)
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Yeah, it’s glamorous, and yes, I am beautiful. However, my lifelong battle with hyperhidrosis (i.e. stupid-high levels of sweatiness) has made me an expert in two things: not giving a fuck, and also knowing which deodorants really work to keep me dry and B.O.-free, and which do little more than sprinkle my pits with rosewater and false hope. And since nobody should spend two decades testing out shitty deodorants like I did, I went ahead and rounded up the ten best deodorants for sweaty, smelly human beings, from roll-ons and sprays, to the crunchiest of natural formulas—all of which truly work. So click through to see them all, and get ready to hold hands with someone you have a crush on without soaking your Hollister shirt to your waist.