In the history of shoes, we Americans have been guilty of wearing some pretty fugly footwear. Take Uggs, which are so unforgiveable that plenty of our friends refuse to date a man who chooses to wear what we have dubbed “mUggs.” But in their defense (and having personally spent four college years in arctic temperatures) I can attest that there are times when Uggs are (gasp!) semi-necessary in preventing our toes from turning black and falling off from hypothermia. Due to their functionality, we will momentarily forgive these horrifying excuses of a boot, but this brings us to a shoe that serves no purpose whatsoever in functionality nor aesthetic appeal. Behold, the croc.
Crocs, those rubbery clog things with circular cut outs and thick straps, started out in local backyards as a gardening shoe and somehow made it out of its white picket fenced weekend confines and landed squarely in the fashion mainstream. In theory, we totally get it they’re comfy. What we’re most shocked by, though, aren’t the reasons behind keeping crocs in the shoe closet, but who exactly are wearing them. They say women look at men’s shoes as an indicator of taste if that rang true, then this flock of male celebrities are in trouble.
Click through the above photos to witness some of the celebs we formerly respected wearing crocs.
Related: Jimmy Choo Shoes and Ugg Boots Collaborate
The ultimate lover of crocs, Jack Nicholson, steps down a notch from his mafia days on The Departed and goes all out fogie. No, you are not seeing triple. Jack-o loves his crocs so much that he wears them all the time. He even likes to make a fashion statement in bright blue!
Anybody recognize this guy? Wonder why not? It's because the last time you saw him in The Matrix, he had a shaved head and was so badass that he could pull off glasses with no arms all while doing flips off walls in order to dodge bullets. To our dismay, Morpheus' alter ego Laurence Fishburne has traded in his leather trench coats for bright orange crocs. We're just grateful he's refrained from pairing the two together.
Steven Tyler, why are you smiling? You are wearing crocs. WITH PLAID. A little advice to the rocker: No matter how many knuckle dusters and of-the-moment grey streaks you leave in your hair, you will never be badass if you are donning plastic clogs.
What's even worse than wearing rubbery clogs in broad daylight? Wearing them with pajama pants and an oversized puffy jacket that adds 40 pounds to your frame. Aaron, are those spaceships or lettuce heads on your pants? We can't tell.
If you're currently laughing at this picture of Iggy Pop, warm your cold heart, people! From our observations, it seems that poor Iggy has one leg that's longer than the other. At least, we can't think of another reason why only one of his crocs would be a wedge. Not laughing now, are you? Per Iggy's lady friend well, we won't even go there.
It pains us slightly to include George Bush in a category of such badass men, but alas this is just too good to ignore. The ex-president sports his foot rafts with socks (A+ for effort for attempting the socks and shoe trend! and of course, a presidential wave.
We have to say, Red Hot Chili Peppers' lead vocalist Anthony Kiedis makes these bad boys look relatively OK. Relatively. As in, we're not sure how he actually got laid to produce that baby after wearing those, but we like his I-don't-give-a-f&*k attitude anyhow.
The fact that Adam Sandler is wearing crocs in this picture is only OK because we're going to pretend that he means this as a joke. See, isn't his date laughing? That's what we thought.
Initially we wanted to forgive Batali for this shoe sin because we hold a special place in our hearts for Dads who like to match with their kids. Then we noticed that he was standing on a red carpet. Unforgiveable.
Unlike Mario Batali, at least Jared Leto has the decency to keep his crocs in an acceptable color family. But still, no matter how hot you are or how many trucker hats you wear, these shoes will never attract the ladies.
In just one slip of sartorial sense, Puff Daddy (P. Diddy?) has officially lost his rights to call himself a "Bad Boy for life." Diddy should really know better, especially since he owns his own fashion label.
After all the amazing years he's spent conquering Hollywood, you would think that Al Pacino would have learned a few lessons about wearing good shoes especially with a suit. But unlike some of our other examples, ahem Aaron Eckhart, at least he knows how to match.