I love my friends. However, now that we’re entering the all-things-weddings phase of our lives – we’re all wifed up and will probably all be getting married within a few years of each other – the bridesmaid drama is just beginning. I spoke to Bachelorette-alum Rachel Lindsay at The Knot’s registry house in Southampton to see if she had any tips on avoiding the drama.
From cross-country flights to that careful dance of who needs to be included and who will understand if they don’t make the final cut, the whole experience has felt a bit like walking on eggshells. Important decisions need to be made, but you still need to factor in the feelings of some of your closest friends. However, if anyone knows how to navigate a group of emotional women and maintain the peace, it’s the survivor of a dating show with 25 competitive ladies. “I’ll tell you how I deal with it,” Lindsay told me. “I don’t have any bridesmaids.” Suddenly, it was like a flip switched, the skies opened up and I finally felt free. No bridesmaids!! In this overwhelming era of bride squads and bride babes, I can’t believe I didn’t realize nixing this tradition–a groundbreaking move, was even an option.
“We don’t need the flair of it,” Lindsay explained. “I get why people do, but honestly we’re older so we’ve had so many friends along the way, it would just be too hard to narrow down. And when it comes to the wedding, you know, the whole thing is supposed to be about you and your husband-to-be. And that’s exactly who is going to be standing up there [at the altar].” Making the wedding about the bride and groom and not about the bride and her ‘maids? I like the sound of that. “You can designate people for certain roles, I want you to give a speech, I want you to say a scripture, I want you to sing, whatever. But I just think it’s so much better without them.”
But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a fun Bachelorette weekend with your girls. In fact, Lindsay made her weekend–dubbed Camp Costa Rachel, a tribute to her closest friends. “I made everyone at the bachelorette feel like they were bridesmaids. I called them bachelorette-maids.” And for those friends who take the absence of a bridesmaid title to heart? “You can have a secret title,” Lindsay suggests. “[Tell them] you know you would have been my maid of honor but I’m just not having bridesmaids!” Sneaky sneaky, Rachel! I love it.