To help celebrate the upcoming launch of @WhiteGrlProblem Babe Walker’s new book aptly tiled White Girl Problems (which you can pre-order from Amazon and/or Barnes & Noble), Babe Walker has been doing a series of guests posts over the past few weeks right here on StyleCaster, offering up outfit advice for a number of occasions just about everyone will (or could) get themselves into.
Admit it everyone is guilty of at least trolling an internet dating site once in their lives. Whether it’s just to eyeball some potential match-ups or perhaps even contemplate taking the plunge to go out on a date with some random, we’re all familiar with the reality that finding a date can be made a lot easier with the help of the World Wide Web.
Even Babe knows that sometimes during drastic times, drastic measures need to be taken. That’s why you need to put down those sugar-free gummy bears and read Babe’s advice below and get ready to capture the heart (or at least the wallet) of a total stranger.
Thanks to Babe’s fashion savviness, you’re pretty much guaranteed to make one heck of a first impression!
You told yourself you would never go online to find love. I get it. But do you realize that you haven’t gotten laid in three months and you ate FIVE macaroons last night? (I don’t care that they’re gluten-free. I can’t sit by and condone lonely eating. I just can’t.) So, here’s what you’re going to do: you’re going to get on Match.com/OKcupid/JDate and find yourself a semi-attractive man (who’s over 5’7″) to take you out this Friday night.
The worst thing you can do on a date with someone you’ve never met is to give them a glimpse of the real you. It’s important to test them out at first to see if you’re both a true match made in heaven. Therefore, I recommend showing up to date night dressed as a man.
If you’re scared of this idea, let’s compromise. You can wear a sheer, man-dress like this gorge option from Ann Demeulemeester over a pair of John Galliano stretch twill wool trousers. (Side note: make sure you’ve been appropriately spray-tanned before wearing this man-dress, as it requires major abdominal presence). This outfit is chic, it’s peek-a-boo, and strikes a perfect masculine/feminine option because your tits will be out, but you’re also wearing pants. (If you’re scared of showing off the girls on a first date with some psycho you met off of the Internet, maybe you need to reevaluate what you’re really looking for in life, and throw on a vest. The Balmain python option will do the trick.)
I personally can not go on any date without wearing a heel of some sort. A YSL boot is sure to compliment your outfit and give you the “gift of lift” without being overly feminine. The option I picked out in the slideshow above come in the softest-of-soft python skin, so between those and the vest, you’ll be ultra texturized. Or you can go full urban warrior on your date’s ass and wear a pair of gladiator sandals.
If you’re feeling like incorporating more crazy colors into your ensemble, pair the Galliano pants with an intense printed shirt — like the Givenchy number — and top it off with some fringed Burberry Prorsum lace-ups.
If your date makes a negative comment about your look, blow him off. If he compliments you, he’s gay. Either way, you won’t be having sex with anyone, but at least you’ll have gotten dressed up and out of the house. Good luck!
Check out all of Babe’s outfit picks in the slideshow above!